Breast enhancing gum.

I got some spam the other day touting that their gum will enhance your breasts. According to the ad, breast growth is inhibited by a chemical imbalance in your body. But, this gum has a special combination of herbs to correct that imbalance and allow fuller breast development.

Of course, the ad makes no claims as to the amount of increase. I guess that would be too quantifiable. Of course, they promise a 90 day money back guarantee but I am still skeptical.

I suppose, after you chew the gum, you could always stick it in your bra. That would be one way of enhancing your breasts.

Well, my breasts don’t need to be enhanced so I’ll pass on the gum. Besides, at $60 per month, you could buy a whole lot of padded bras.

Skyline chili.

When we were visiting our daughter in Cincinnati the other day, we noted that Skyline Chili was every where. And this stands to reason since Cincinnati is the birth place of Skyline Chili.

I have to admit that I have never tried Skyline Chili as it just has never appealed to me. And don’t get me wrong, I love chili and I would probably enjoy Skyline Chili. But, I don’t like the way that it is served.

The first way that it is often severed is on top of a hot dog in a bun. Then, on top of the chili is a mound of shredded cheddar cheese.

Notice I said “mound”. They just don’t sprinkle on a little cheese, they heap it up. In fact, there is so much cheese that it is impossible to eat the hot dog without a knife and fork. Somehow, a knife and fork sound out of place with a hot dog.

The second way that it is served is on top of spaghetti. And again, on top of the chili is a mound of shredded cheddar and a glob of sour cream. I can feel my arteries plugging up just looking at it.

Either way that you look at it, the way that Skyline Chili is served can’t be healthy. I much prefer the deluxe version of Steak and Shake chili.

Knock knock…

Knock knock.  Who’s there?  Nobody.  Nobody who?  Nobody who works for the state.

Such is the case for state government.  Since the budget was not passed last night, today will be our last day.  I know that the news says that we have until midnight Sunday but that is not true.  Civil Service says that we have to be given four working hours notice before we can be laid off.  So, they will they will notify us at noon.

I dare say that there won’t be much happening at work today.  In fact, I would be surprised if most people even show up today.  And, I suspect that once the notice has been given, most people will just leave.

I feel especially sorry for the union folks.  Their contracts said that they had to be given 30 days notice before any layoffs.  But, the state renegotiated their contracts with the unions last week and now they only have to give 4 hours notice.  Not only did they get screwed, they paid union dues for it.

Just how long we will be off work remains to be seen.  So, we have to plan for the worst.  After 2 weeks, we can draw unemployment.

Well, at least I won’t have to get up early on Monday.

The stairway to Heaven.

The State Office Building in Saginaw has three floors with a mechanical penthouse above the third floor. And even though the penthouse is always locked, there is a high locked gate at the bottom of the stairs leading up to the penthouse.

I thought this to be rather odd having a locked gate and a locked door so I asked the building manager about the double security. He indicated that there had been a office romance a few years back.

It seems that the couple would slip up the stairs to the penthouse landing. And even though they couldn’t get into the penthouse, they would be out of sight for their intimate moments during lunch. Of course, the state doesn’t condone such activities so the stairway gate was erected.

I guess if you want to do those kind of things, you need to run across the street to that cheap motel.

Shutting down.

Here at the State of Michigan, our fiscal years ends on September 30. Since the governor and the legislators haven’t come to terms yet, we have no budget for next year. The governor wants to raise taxes and increase the budget by 1.7 billion dollars. The legislature wants to cut taxes and 1.7 billion out of the budget.

With out a budget, state government can’t operate. So, if they haven’t got a budget in place by Monday, the state will close. And so, we are making preparations for closing down the state.

I just hope I find out one way or the other. I would hate to get up a 5:30 on Monday only to discover that the state is closed.

Ace of Bace.

Kathy and I got involved in the music program at our new church. I am playing the bace in the band for the youth service and Kathy is doing back up vocals.

The stuff that we play is pretty up beat. It comes from contemporary Christian artists such as David Crowder, Audio Adrenaline and Sonic Flood.

For practicing on our own, we were each given a CD with about 19 songs on it. Since there isn’t any sheet music for the songs, I have to listen to the bace line and figure it out on my own.

After listening to the first few songs, it became apparent that they were using a 5 string bace. Since what they play on the 5 string bace is a lot easier than what I would have to play on my 4 string bace, I went out and bought a new 5 string bace. (Happy birthday to me!)

Anyway, last Sunday was our first day of playing and it was a lot of fun. I have felt so frustrated for the past few years as I did not have a music outlet. Now I do. And, since on any given Sunday there are 6 bands playing, Kathy and I are meeting a lot of new people.

I just hope that we don’t get over extended.

Montgomery Community Church.

While visiting daughter Rachel in Cincinnati, we attended the church that she goes to; the Montgomery Community Church. They have three services on Sunday morning; 8:30, 10:00 and 11:30. They also have a Saturday evening service. We attended the Saturday evening service.

It was a little unusual for us to attend a Saturday evening service but we liked it. The service was quite upbeat and featured a lot of contemporary songs from a band with about 12 musicians.

One of the musicians was a former drummer for Santana. He was good but I had to wonder how a former drummer for Santana ended up at a church in Cincinnati? But, I guess it doesn’t matter.

All and all, it was a nice service.

The drive through.

The other morning, I pulled into the drive through at one of Lansing’s Burger Kings to order a breakfast sandwich. As I was waiting for my food, I noticed that there was a city bus behind me also waiting for food.

I thought this to be rather unusual and a bit out of place. I was surprised that the bus was able to negotiate the tight turns required by the drive up window. And I was also surprised that a city bus driver would break from his route to grab some food.

But more than that, I had to wonder if there were people on the bus. And if there were, did they order food also?

I had to wonder if this was a regular stop on the bus line. I could envision a bus schedule where the number 14 bus stops at Burger King every hour on the hour and at Micky Ds every hour on the half hour.

But more to the point, does the city know that one of its transit worker is stopping at a Burger King with a city bus?


Big Breasts

I read an article about Rachel Aldana. She is an 18 year old British woman who made the Guinness book of world records for her 32JJs.

Now, I did’t know much about how bras are sized since I seldom shop for them. And when I do shop for them, it is with a full set of engineering specs. from my wife.

I knew A, B, C, D and E but I had no idea just how large a 32JJ really was. So, doing what I always do when I need information, I went on line.

No, I wasn’t looking for pictures. I was looking for how bras are sized. And, what I found out was quite interesting.

First, you measure the diameter of your rib cage just below the breasts. This is where you get your number from. In the case of the champ, she is 32.

Next, you measure the diameter of your rib cage at the apex of your breasts. This is where you get your cup size from. For every inch that your breast measurement is above the measurement just below your breast, you go up a cup size.

For example, if the measurement just below your breasts is 32 and the measurement with your breasts is 34, then you need a bra that is a 32B.

Now, if I am understanding this, a JJ would mean that they went through the alphabet once and are starting a second round. So a JJ would be 36 inches above her initial measurement of 32 inches. That would mean that she has a 68 inch chest!!

Having breast that large can’t be fun. In fact, she says that men stare at her and that women give her dirty looks. Go figure.

Mitt Romney.

Last Saturday afternoon, I got a call from Mitt Romney. He had a conference bridge set up and asked me to join his town hall forum. Apparently, he was inquiring about west Michigan as to our concerns and issues.

If you wanted to ask him a question, you hit a button on your phone and waited for your turn. Then, when it was your turn, you got to ask him your question.

Questions were limited to one per house hold but still, how often do people get to ask a candidate a question?

I was impressed with the answers that he gave. He was a quick thinker and a very good speaker.

And even though the forum lasted only about 15 minutes, I was still glad I joined it.

I wonder why he picked me?