When we were first married, Kathy got a phone call one night. I heard her say “A free cemetery plot?” And before I could say anything she said “Sure, Friday at 7:00 will be fine.”

After she hung up the phone, she announced that we had won a free cemetery plot. Rats! A sales presentation on a Friday night.

When the day arrived, the sale person was right on time. With portfolio in hand, he pulled out the deed to the plot. But then he said “of course, you will want to purchase the adjoining plot so you can be buried next to each other.”

Ah! the catch. Since Friday night was our entertainment night and since this person was taking it up, I decided to make the best of it.

I told him that we only needed the one plot since we both planned to be cremated. No good. He said that cremation burial was only allowed in a separate part of the cemetery and that the certificate was only for direct burial plots. Association rules you know.

Well, I told him that we still only needed one plot. After all, if either one of us dies, the other will probably remarry. And since there would not be enough room for three of us, some one would have to be buried in another location. So, the first one to die would get the free plot and the living spouse would be buried with their new spouse at another location.

No good. He said that in order to receive the free plot, we needed to purchase the adjoining plot. So I asked him if this was “two for the price of one?”  He said no, it was “buy one get one free.” OK.

So, now I had to ask him what was the difference. He said that we would get the free plot but only if we bought the second one, so, it was buy one, get one free.

Then, I asked about getting a third plot, in case one of us dies prematurely and the other remarries. He told me that the third plot would be half price. So I asked if it was buy one, get one free with additional plots at half price. He said yes. I told him that it sounded like all of the plots were half off and that the buy one get one free was just a gimmick. He assured me that it wasn’t.

I told him that we still planned to be cremated and asked if he had any good deals on urns. He left shortly there after with his free plot in hand.