When I was in my 20s, relationships were less complicated.  When you discovered someone whom you were attracted to, you started to date them.   And during the course of dating, you determined if there were areas of common interest.  And if there were and you enjoyed being with that person, the relationship turned into romance and then marriage.

Only after you were married did you realize that you were living with a  complete stranger.  While a part of the problem is not really knowing the other person, the other part of the problem is not knowing who you are yourself.  But, you learned to adjust and bend and compromise.  And, you shaped each other until you both became one.  And, together in  this oneness, your marriage went forward, each of you discovering yourself and each other.

But now, in this later life, I have already been shaped and molded.  So, I am learning about what that shape and mold really looks like.  And, since my die has already been cast, I kind of need someone whos’ die meshes with mine, kind of like two gears turning together for the common good. While I can adjust somewhat, unless I find someone who complements who I am and I her, both of us will end up being destroyed.