A number of years ago, I was at a conference in Dallas. Since I didn’t like the food that was being served at the conference, I left the banquet hall and headed for the W House which was a restaurant at my hotel.

As I was listening to the daily specials, I couldn’t help but notice that my waitress had a heavy southern accent. When it came time to order, she asked me if I wanted a salad or a vegetable. I asked her what the vegetable was and she said “Bains”. “Bains” wasn’t registering with me and knowing that people in the south sometimes eats unusual vegetables I asked if “bains” were anything like okra.  She put her hands on her hips and said “grain bains”. Oh, green beans. I opted for the salad.

As I was unwrapping my silverware, I accidentally dropped some on the floor. Reaching down, I picked them up and wiped them off with my napkin.

When my food arrived, the waitress set the food down on the table. Looking me in the eyes she said “Do you need another fock?” “excuse me?” I said. She repeated “A fock. Do you need another fock?”

Now, this is the kind of conversation that I would have expected in Nevada but not in Texas. I told her that she must be confusing me with someone else. Somewhat frustrated she said “A fock. Do you need a clean fock?” Reaching down she picked up my fork and said “Do you need another one?” Oh a fork. At this point in time I was too embarrassed to ask for anything and told her that my fork was just fine.