I love KFC but seldom eat it for lunch because the meals are alway too large. And, along with their large size is their large price.

However, recently, they have been selling a meal for $5. The meal consists of 2 pieces of chicken, 1 side dish, a biscuit and a medium soft drink. This seemed pretty straight forward so I decided to give it a try.

I pulled into the drive through and started reading the menu. Since this was a new item that was being promote on TV, I figured that they would have a big blurb on their menu. No such luck. They had all of their buckets and all of their sides listed but no mention of the $5 meal.  Oh well.

When I pulled up to the speaker, I told them that I wanted their $5 meal. They asked me if I wanted it boxed or plated. Since boxed sounded more like a bulk chicken order I told them “Plated”. Then they ask if I wanted “Original, Extra Crispy, or Grilled”. I told them that I wanted “Original”.

Next, they asked me what I wanted for the sides. Sides? I thought it only came with one side.  But no, they told me that it came with two sides. So I ordered coleslaw and baked beans. Then, with the selection of a soft drink, I was good to go.

When I got to the window, they told me that it would be $7.59. $7.59? What happened to my $5 meal?

I must have made a mistake in ordering. A quick check of the KFC website confirmed that I should have ordered a box meal. No problem. Next time I will order a box meal.

A week later, I had the opportunity to try again. Prepared with my past experience, I order a box meal. After which, I was prompted with “Chicken strips, Popcorn Chicken, Wings, Legs, White meat or Dark meat”?

Somewhat frustrated, I told them that I just wanted a 2 piece $5 meal, the one that only comes with only one side. The speaker person responded “Oh, you want a number 1”

I thought “Yes! a number 1.” File that information away for future use.

Then they asked if I wanted to super size it. Since I knew that the medium soft drink was not quite enough, I said “Sure”. Then they asked what I wanted for my second side.

Since I could see myself headed down the same road as the first time, I told them that I only wanted one side. They told me that a super size comes with an second side at no additional charge. So, once again, I opted for coleslaw and baked beans. $7.59 Thank you very much.

But, I could feel that I was getting closer. So, when the opportunity presented itself a few weeks later, I was prepared. I ordered a number 1 and told them that I did not want to super size it. They told be that for another $0.30 I could upgrade my soft drink to a large. That seemed reasonable to me so I agreed.

When I got to the pickup window I was please to discover that I had indeed ordered the $5 meal with the $0.30 soft drink upgrade.

Yes! It took a few tries but I think I have master KFC speak.