Here at the state, someone got the bright idea that we needed a trash barrel in the parking ramp. That way, if people had trash in their car, they could dump it in the trash barrel.

A committee was formed to study the idea and a tour was made to determine the best location for the trash barrel. Pages from catalogs were copied and distributed as a size and color would need to be determined.

Then, a report was formulated, written and sent to upper management for their blessing. And when that blessing was given, a DMB44 requisition form was filled out and submitted along with a DMB196 justification form, an AS-1 request for approval form and price quotes from 5 different vendors.

All of this paper work was then approved by the section manager, the section director, the section accountant, the junior assistant deputy director, the senior assistant deputy director, the deputy director, the director and finally a file clerk in purchasing who has the final say on everything.

When the new trash barrel arrived, the committee met once again and together they took the trash barrel to its new home. Proudly, they placed the trash barrel in its designated location and had a few minor speeches acknowledging the importance of this event. There was even a photo opt.

As the days passed, the committee made a few fact finding trips to inspect the trash barrel and its use. Seeing that it was being used, they reassured themselves that this was the right thing to do.

The days turn into weeks and then into months and the trash barrel continued to fill up until it reached capacity. And this was when they discovered the fatal flaw in their plan; there was no provision made for emptying the trash barrel.

In a panic, the committee approached the building manager. The building manager announced that since the barrel was in the parking ramp and not in the building, it was not his problem.

Undaunted, the committee approached the manager of the parking ramp. But, the parking ramp manager was not aware that a trash barrel had been placed in his ramp. After all, no one had checked with him prior to placing the barrel. Furthermore, he pointed out that the maintenance of trash barrels belonged to Buildings and Grounds. If he had someone empty the trash barrel, the union would file a complaint.

The Buildings and Grounds group pointed out that the trash barrel was not approved by the union and therefore a violation of their contract. Not only did they refuse to empty the trash barrel, they also threatened to file a complaint against anyone who did empty the trash barrel.

Then one night, the barrel disappeared and no one seemed to know what had happened to it. The union immediately filed a compliant that management was trying to eliminate their jobs. Management, in turn, accused the union of destroying government property.

And just when things were about to turn ugly, the barrel mysteriously reappeared, empty. The union, of course, demanded that the trash be returned to the barrel. Management responded by saying that since they didn’t take the barrel in the first place, they certainly didn’t have the trash that was in it. However, they did reassure the union that the barrel would be full once again in a few weeks.

Of course, once the barrel gets full again, management will have to deal with the union issue. And, since the barrel is 3/4 full now, the issue will be coming up shortly.

Such is life at the state. One big happy family.