Wep Swift

On some mailing list, somewhere in the world, there exists a person named Wep Swift. I have never met this person but according to his mail, he lives at the same address as we do.

About once a week, Wep gets a fantastic offer for a credit card or a magazine subscription. I keep saving Weps mail for him thinking that he is going to show up some day to claim it but so far, that hasn’t happened.

Publishers Clearing House says that Wep has already won a million dollars and Wep doesn’t even know it. Poor Wep! And lets not forget all of those letters that, according to the envelope, have important billing information and say “final notice” on the outside. Perhaps if Wep would pick up his million dollars from the Publisher Clearing House, he would be able to eliminate all of those “final notices”.

About a year ago, I started subscribing to a free magazine which focuses on the restaurant business. In order to qualify for the free magazine, you have to give them the name of your restaurant.

My restaurant hasn’t actually opened yet as I am waiting for Wep to pick up his million dollars. Maybe he will want to invest in this restaurant of mine.

Anyway, I named my restaurant, “Swifts Epicurean”. But the magazine entered it as “Sunifts Epicurean” with Ned Swift as the owner. Sunifts. Sounds like I am serving middle eastern cuisine. Besides,who would use their own last name in the name of their restaurant? Terribly uncreative. Right Tommy Brann? (Tommy Brann is the owner of Brann’s, a local restaurant chain.)

So, if Wep ever picks up his million dollars, maybe I can start serving that curried chicken to the public.

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