The other day, I was in a restaurant and observed an extremely obese woman order a tossed salad.

At first, I applauded her for taking control of her weight problem.  But then I became cynical and realized that the salad was only her “public” ruse.  What she did in private was probably disgusting.   And, since she was at least twice my size, I concluded that she was over 300 pounds.  So, she wasn’t living on lettuce and carrots.

I am sorry.  While there is help for these people, they need to start helping themselves.

Today, I saw a flatbed truck with “Not for hire” lettered on the side.  So, I had to wonder “is the driver regularly approached about hiring the truck?”

I mean, I wouldn’t think of walking up to a stranger and asking if I could hire the truck.  And, most of the people that I know wouldn’t think of doing it either.   But, that is just me and my friends.  Maybe there are a lot of people out there who are looking to hire a truck.  But, I suspect that is not the case.

And, does the sign really deter people from asking?  I mean the sign is on the front fender, so if you approached the truck from the rear, you might not see it.  But, regardless, I think that the owner of the truck is self impressed and delusional.

Maybe the driver is a deaf mute who regularly points  to the sign.

The captain of that capsized Italian cruse ship now claims that he fell off of the boat and that is why he left the ship.  Then, he said that once he hit the water, he found a life boat to climb into.  And, since the passengers in the life boat were headed to shore, he had no choice but to go a long.

I guess once he hit dry land, it never occurred to him that he should return to his ship.

The law suits will fly.

The winning-est coach in the history of college football has passed away, leaving behind a fantastic record and a tarnished name.

I personally think that Joe got a raw deal.  After a staff member reported a sexual incident to Joe, Joe followed procedures and reported the incident to the proper authorities.  Unfortunately, the authorities either chose to do nothing or felt that there was not enough evidence to warrant an investigation.

But, regardless, Joe was a high profile target for the media and so, he went down.

Rest in peace Joe, you deserved better.

The other day, when I was driving down the road, I saw a sign that read “Fresh Eggs”.  This made me wonder as to what “Fresh” entails.

If the eggs weren’t fresh would they be frozen or powered?  How about stale?

I have never seen a sign that read “stale eggs.”  But I suppose that you could get a pretty good deal on stale eggs.

Meijer (regional grocery chain) used to have mens clothing along the main isle.  And, quite often when I was shopping, I would impulse buy as I walked past.  But, since they remodeled the store, the mens clothing is now in the middle of nowhere.  Consequently, I don’t think to look at  mens clothing unless I really need  something.  And, I certainly don’t impulse buy any more.

Well, I guess this is just one way that Meijer is helping me save money.

My windshield washers quit working the other day.  Since there was no fluid in the reservoir, that seemed like the problem.  But, after I filled the reservoir, it still didn’t work.  And when I checked the reservoir again and it was empty,  I concluded that something else must be wrong.

Since my car had suffered some front end damage a couple of weeks earlier, I assumed that the washer reservoir had suffered damage as well.   So, in an effort to prepare a case for the insurance company, I filled the reservoir once again and looked for leaks.

Well, there were no obvious leaks with the reservoir, so I decided to try the washers again.  Now, while the washers still didn’t work, at least I could see where they were leaking.  One pull of the lever and fluid came running out from under the hood by the windshield.

The hose connecting the two washers was leaking.   But why?

Since the hose ran underneath an insulation baffle attached to the hood,  I decided to pop it loose for a look.  When I did, I discovered a mouse nest!  And, upon further examination, I discovered that the fluid line between the two washers had been chewed.

Well, 10 minutes and  a quick trip to the auto parts store, and I was good to go.  Tomorrow, I will buy some Decon for the garage.

A Colorado man, who had been missing for 5 days, was found in a bathroom stall at a theater.  He was, of course, dead.  The only reason that he was discovered was because the cleaning crew complained about the smell.

Well, at least he was discovered before he became mummified.  I guess he needed more fiber in his diet.

I purchased a new sofa at Art Van last weekend.  When the sales person was ringing up the order, she said “and delivery is….”  Delivery” I interrupted?  “No free delivery?”  “Nope” came the reply.

Well, given the price of gas, and the fact that they will bring it into the house for me, the delivery charge is reasonable.

I guess this is a sign of the times.

The owner of an Italian cruse liner, that ran aground, blames human error as the cause.  No duh!!

The law suits will go on for years.