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A friend and co-worker of mine visited her sister one weekend. She noted that her sister was a real health nut and took a hand full of vitamins every morning. Thinking that this was a good idea, my co-worker decided to give it a try. So, when she got up one morning, she consumed more that a dozen vitamins. But, she noted that one tasted terrible and got stuck in her throat.

When she commented to her sister about the bitter pill, her sister looked at the bottle and announced that those were antibiotics for the dog and that is why they tasted so bitter. Surprised, the woman asked how she managed to get the dog to swallow something that vial. With out missing a beat, the sister stated that they were suppositories.

Oh well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

The other day, when I was at the gas station, I noticed that they had a couple of slushie machines churning away. Now, while slushie machines have been around for many years, what caught my attention was that they were named “Gourmet Ice”.

Gourmet Ice? That almost seems like a oxymoron. Over the years I have tolerated gourmet popcorn and gourmet jelly beans, but gourmet slushies just doesn’t seem right.

I suppose it is only a matter of time before they come out with gourmet bubble gum.

Journal 08/10/00.

From the Throne Room, I am taken to the Garden of Eden again. And, once again, Mr Skeleton is with me.

We are by a pool of water. I asked him if he is going to show me something. He walks into the water which is quite deep. He is in over his head. The water is clear and I can see him walking around in the water. Soon, he comes up out of the water with a fish in his mouth. He opens his mouth and the fish falls on the ground.

I asked him why he caught a fish. The fish replies “because I can talk.” I asked the fish how long he can stay out of water. The fish replied that it wasn’t a problem. The fish then started floating in the air.

We all started moving very rapidly through the foliage. Suddenly, we came to the edge of the garden and I can see what lies beyond it. It is a vast desert. Nothing but blowing sand for as far as the eye can see. I gaze at the sand for awhile and then return to the garden.

The other day, as I was in the waiting room, I picked up a fishing magazine. Now, I am not a fisherman, so the magazine didn’t hold a whole lot of interest for me. But I flipped through it anyway.

When I opened it up, the first thing that I saw was a full page ad for a propane torch. Now boats and rods and reels and tackle are all ads that I would have expected to see in a fishing magazine but not a propane torch.

As I said before, I am not a fisherman so I have no idea why a fisherman would be interested in a propane torch. Do they use it for setting up tackle? Or do they use it for cleaning fish? Maybe they use if for cooking the fish. I don’t know. I guess I will have to ask a fisherman.

The doctor recently discovered that my wife has a very rare tumor in her bladder. So, she is being referred out to another doctor for a “second opinion”.

Now, most people, I’m sure have heard of second opinions. But, have we ever stopped to think about them?

What we are saying is that while the first doctor rendered his/her “opinion”, we are looking for another “opinion”. So, we get a second “opinion”.

But, the operative word here is “opinion” not “fact”. And while opinions may be based on facts, they are still only opinions.

Using the word “opinion” gives me comfort since the medical field is admitting that they don’t know everything. But, on the other hand, it concerns me that doctors will proceed with a course of action on the basis of their “opinion” and not fact.

Here is how it works. “It is my opinion that your stomach pain is being caused by your Gall Bladder, so I suggest that it be removed.” Followed by, “Removing your Gall Bladder has not eliminated the pain, so it must be something else.”

In short, these folks are only guessing, and at your expense.

A woman recently received a call from a vet asking her if she owned a yellow tabby cat. The woman said that she owned one 14 years ago but he disappeared shortly after she got him neutered. The vet said that he found a yellow tabby cat and according to the ID tattoo, it was hers. The woman was ecstatic to finally get her cat back.

No stop and think about the whole event. When the woman first got the cat, she had it neutered. So, I am guessing that the cat wanted nothing to do with the woman after that and ran away. Now, fourteen years later, she gets her cat back after he old and in need of care.  With the exception of the neutering, I think that the cat got the best of all possible worlds.

In a tragic accident at Sea World, a trainer was killed by a whale. Of course, this was the third person that this whale has killed. Yet, she was still allowed to perform.

Maybe they are called “killer whales” for a reason. Attendance, of course, has spiked.

This seems to be the season for old worn out singers. First we had the Who for the Super Bowl. Now we have Bob Dylan at the White House.

Yes Bob, the times they are a changin.

Journal 09/12/00

We, me, Christ and the throne, proceed down the back of the golden pyramid and spiraled out on to the plain again. I look to the left and see sheep grazing. We proceed across the plain past the sheep and head for a tent. When we get to the tent, there is no one around but there is a pot with meat and vegetables sitting on the fire. We help ourselves to the food, putting it on some plates that are next to it. We then go and sit in the shade of the tent reclining on a rug. While we are eating, we see a caravan coming towards us.

In a recently published book, a 40ish single mom describes how she screwed up her life by looking for Mr. Perfect. During her 20s and 30s, she dated a lot of good men but none were to her perfect standard. Now, she realizes that Mr. Perfect never existed and that all of the good men are gone.

In her book, she emphasizes that instead of looking for Mr. Perfect, you should look for Mr. Goodenough. Mr. Goodenough is not perfect but he is… well… good enough.

Of course, her book has drawn the ire of some women who don’t believe that they should “settle” just for the sake of it. And, if these women don’t want to “settle”, that is fine. It is their choice. Her point is that if you want to find a husband and raise a family, then maybe you shouldn’t be looking for Mr. Perfect because he doesn’t exist.