Newsweek declared that Grand Rapids is a dying city.

Kind of ironic coming from a dying magazine.

NASA undercover agents caught someone trying to sell moon rocks on the black market.

Since when did NASA get undercover agents and why?

When I ordered a rental car to drive while I waited for the insurance company to settle, the rental company promised me a midsized car.  But, when I went to pick it up, they offered me a Silverado for the same price.

Now, I am thinking that a truck equals poor gas mileage so I told them that I really needed a vehicle that would seat four.  The man assured me that I could get 4 people in the truck.

Good grief!  I am thinking that this truck is going to be so big that I might not be able to get it into my garage let alone my underground parking space at work.  So, I thanked the man for the offer but declined.  The midsized will be much easier to drive.

“Silverado, why don’t you  come to your senses, you’ve been out mending fences for so very long.”

President Obama signed the guest book at Westminster Abby.  And while he got the day and the month right, he listed the year as 2008.

Now, I know that we all make mistakes when it come to the year.  I still catch myself wanting to write 2010 instead of 2011.  But to miss the year by three years is a little strange.

Maybe it was from all of the excitement of discovering that he is Irish.

President Obama has discovered that he is part Irish.  So, along with the O’Tooles and the O’Riellys we now have the O’Bamas.

Whatever.

Knowing that I still had a shipment of cabinet parts at Menard’s is one thing.  But, getting them is quite another.

When the guard at the gate checked my order number, the computer showed it as being closed.  So, I sat at the gate waiting for someone to check the pickup area.  After about 10 minutes, they found the order and let me through.

Of course getting in was one thing but getting out was quite another.  It seems that the guard that let me in, went off shift and a new guard came on.  So, we had to do it all over again.

And I thought that it was difficult to get out of Sam’s Club.

We have all come to know of an elite team of fighters in our war against terrorism.  Seal Team Six. But, what most people don’t know is that Disney claims the copyright on the name.

So, I don’t know what that means for the Seals.  Is Disney going to control the missions of the Seals to ensure that the name is not tarnished?   Or is Walt going to send Mickey and the gang on the next mission?

I think that the government may have a different view of the copyright.

No, I am not talking about the Borg collective.  I am talking about my new kitchen cabinets.

When I went to pick up my new kitchen cabinets, the boxes were labeled 1 of 6, 2 of 6,  all the way up to 5 of 6.  But, there was no 6 of 6.  When I asked about 6 of 6, the stock person said that there was no 6 of 6.

Now, since I seemed to have all of my cabinets, I too concluded that there was no 6 of 6.  So, I left.  But, when I started installing the cabinets a few weeks later, I realized that there were some shelves missing.

Suspecting that this might be 6 of  6, I returned to the store to inquire.  When I explained my suspicion to the clerk, she checked the back room.  Moments later she returned to announce that there was a whole pallet of parts that belonged to me.

6 of 6!  The mystery is solved.  I will have to make another trip with the van.

One of the women at work told me that if I was going to be dating, I needed to get my teeth whitened.  Since she was an attractive single gal, I took her words to heart.

I first tried the whitening strips from the store.  They were rather expensive and did absolutely nothing.  So, I next talked to my dental hygienist.

She said that it would cost $200 but that I would definitely get whiter teeth. Since I was already paying $50 for the store bought whitening strips that didn’t work, I decided to give it a try.

The process was quite simple.  The hygienist made an impression of my teeth.  Then, from the impressions, she made an upper and lower “whitening tray” which completely covered my teeth when installed.

Each night, before I go to bed, I put some Nupro White Gold whitening gel into each of the trays and then snap them on over my teeth.  In the morning, I remove the trays, rinse them out and put them back into their case.

Well, after the first night, I could definitely tell the difference.  The Nupro White Gold was doing what it was supposed to do.  And, at the end of the first week, I was impressed with just how white my teeth had become.

While this stuff may be more expensive than the store bought stuff, it does indeed work!

The remote control for my Camry also had a panic button.  Press it once and the horn would start blowing.  I never just how long the horn would blow since I was in a panic trying to shut the stupid thing off.

Sometimes, I would be eating supper when I would hear the horn start blowing.  Now, I never knew if it was blowing because I hit the panic button or if if, like the door locks, would just activate on its own.

I also discovered that the reset button did not have the same range as the panic button.  At least, this certainly seemed to be the case when it would go off while I was laying in bed.  And, I always had to get up and go to the garage in the middle of the night to shut the stupid thing off.

Camry, I liked the way that you handled but I won’t miss you annoying quirks.  Of course, on my new Accord, I am having issues with the map lights not working all of the time.  Could this be a sign of things to come?