I looked out the window one day and discovered that there were a pair of ducks in our backyard. While I have seen a lot of wildlife in the backyard over the years, this was the first time that I have seen ducks.

I was amazed as to how close I could get to the ducks before they got nervous and moved away. And, they seemed to hang around the yard all afternoon. We suspected that maybe they were going to nest in the area so we kept a close watch on the cats.

A couple of days later, they were both found dead in the road. Apparently, they got hit by a truck. I guess they were a little too tame.

One of my co-workers was asked to write a memo. In the memo, she stated that we would work with the agencies to “devise a plan”. After she completed the memo, she submitted it to the management for approval. One of the managers corrected the memo by changing devise to advise because the manager said that there was no such word as devise. Another one of the managers applauded the first manager for catching the mistake.

My coworker was just a little miffed by the whole thing. She did a cut and paste from an online dictionary and emailed it to everyone.

The irony of this is that for both of the managers English is their second language.  I guess they think that they are more fluent in the language than us natives.  What ever.

One day, a few weeks ago, I returned to my office after lunch only to discover that someone had taken my water bottle. Now I realize that a lot of people in the office misplace things such as coffee cups and note pads so for me to loose my water bottle did not cause any concern with my peers.

However, prior to lunch, I was in a meeting and made a special trip back to my office for the sole purpose of putting my half full water bottle on my desk. So, when I discovered that it was gone, I knew that someone had taken it. Despite the scorns of my peers, I went checking the offices of others.

At the second office that I checked, I found what looked to be my half full water bottle. And in this particular case, the woman had two water bottles so I was fairly certain that the bottle in question was mine. But, not wanting to make a scene and having satisfied my sanity, I went to the vending machine and purchased another bottle of water.

The next day, the woman in question came into my office and announced that she had retrieved her water bottle from my office and that I had mistakenly taken it from her office during a meeting. I pointed out that she had two water bottles, but she insisted that they were both hers. What ever.

I keep my ball point pen in my pocket when I am not using it.

While prostitution is legal in Nevada, it is illegal in Las Vegas. So, that means that all of the bordellos are outside of the city limits. And, that means that in order to get to them, you have to drive to them and driving of course takes gas.

So, to off set the price of gas, some sporting houses are now offering free gas cards. The idea, I guess, is to encourage visits by covering the price of gas.

Have you ever considered the similarity between having sex and buying gas?

Beware of bumper stickers!! People who have them are opinionated which means they have an opinion about how you drive. This translates into “ROAD RAGE”. The more bumper stickers they have the greater the road rage.

Also beware of people with special decals or decorations on their cars. These signify that they are personally attached to their cars and that they feel that they own the road.

Driving is no longer a matter of getting from point A to point B. It is road warrior. Arm your self!

Some woman in Ashland OR is asking the city council to allow her to appear topless in one of their parades. The city council is opposed to the topless request saying that it is a family event. However, the city does allow her to ride her bicycle topless and she contends that the parade is no different.

I wonder it she is going to ride on a float and throw candy to the kids?  Maybe she is going to do creative things with streamers.

Buying a hybrid car is a popular thing to do for those who are environmentally concerned. Unfortunately, while it may save on gas, and thus cut down on air pollution, the production of the hybrid batteries is very harmful to the environment. The better solution is to drive a fuel efficient car.

Victoria Secrets is being sued by a woman who claimed she received a permanent eye injury. What was she doing to get this injury? She was trying on a thong.

I suspect that she needed a larger size.

Some people are concerned about cutting down trees. After all, trees naturally clean the air so if a tree gets cut down, it is no longer able to clean the air, right? Well, yes and no.

Trees clean carbon dioxide out of the air but only to a certain extent. As a tree gets older, it cleaning ability gets diminished. And, eventually, it stops cleaning altogether.

When that happens, the tree becomes a liability. If that tree should catch on fire, all of the carbon dioxide that the tree absorbed will get released back into the atmosphere thus negating its air cleaning benefit.

So, whats the solution? Managed forests. Trees need to be harvested, when they become mature, and replaced with new saplings. That way we can maximize the benefits of trees while minimizing the liability.

Want to go green? Go nuclear. While wind power and hydroelectric are the cleanest, they can only be located in certain regions. If yours is not one of those locations, then you have to rely on coal fired power plants.

Unfortunately, coal fired plants release 520 times more carbon dioxide than a nuclear plant. And while the specter of a melt down is always present, coal fired carbon dioxide is a given.

So, if you want to go green, it looks like nuclear power is the answer for now.