There is a movement afoot to have Ronald McDonald removed from McDonalds. Why? Because he encourages children to buy food from McDonalds.

Hello!! That is what advertising is all about. I am sorry if you don’t approve of the food but if it isn’t Ronald, it will be some one else.  I guess if you don’t want your children to see Ronald McDonald, then don’t let them watch commercial TV programs.

Out butts must be shrinking. At least that is the only reason that I can think of as to why the toilet paper rolls are smaller.

My new laptop came with a bunch of games. Not only did it have the old standbys like Solitary and Minesweeper, it also has a new assortment.

The other night, as I was going through the games to try them out, I noticed that checkers was also included. Now, I haven’t played checkers in over 30 years, so I thought that I would give it a shot.

When I called up the game, it told me that I would be playing against a live opponent. Well, playing against the machine is one thing but a live opponent is entirely different. And since I hadn’t played in 30 years, I figured that I would get my butt kicked. But, as it turned out, I won.

I guess I was the one kicking butt. Of course, I quit after the first game. I mean, why take chances. But later it occurred to me that I might not have been playing against a seasoned veteran. I fact, for all I know, I could have been playing against a 3rd grader.

Journal 08/03/00.  A vision in prayer.

I am in the Throne Room standing before the throne. I asked about the medallion. He said that it contained the answers to many questions about life and death.

Then the throne turned and descended down the back of the pyramid. This time, it was more of a slide down the back. The slide went up and down and eventually started spiraling down.

Then, I was in total darkness. Everything was black. Finally, the throne appeared and I started following it again.

The throne made a 90 degree turn and started to move away from me. I tried to turn to follow it but was not able to at first. I cried out that I was not able to turn. Finally, I force myself to follow.

Once again, the throne turned and once again I was not able to follow. So I had to force myself to make the turn. We did this a few more times and then stared down a tunnel.

We came out on to a grassy field and there was a great walled city before me. I walked up to the gates and enter the city. There is a set of steps that lead up to a large wooden door. I walked up the steps and opened the door.

I found myself in the chapel at the Gethsemane monastery. I was high over head looking down. There was a white runner on the floor.

Suddenly, the monks came in bearing a casket. I realize that brother Mathew is dead and that this is his service.

I descend to the floor. I am bare foot and wearing my white robe and medallion. In my one hand is a staff and in the other hand is a censor.

I proceed down the isle to the casket at the front of the church. When I arrive, I swing the censor over the casket making the sign of the cross. I then open the casket and anointed his head. I then took off my medallion and touched it to his lips. I put the medallion back on and left.

My wife just started a new medication. One of the warnings on the label says to call your doctor right away if your skin turns blue.

Now for me, calling the doctor would be a given regardless of the warning label. I mean, if I woke up one morning and discovered that I looked like an extra for Avatar, I would assume that something is very very wrong.

But then again, I realize that not everyone is as intuitive as I am. I imagine that there are some people that would not think twice about the fact that they look like a Smurf. Of course, any one who would think that blue skin is normal probably would not read the warning label anyway.

Well, at least the drug manufacturer has covered themselves.

The signs of spring are everywhere. The snow has melted and we have raked our yard. And, we awaken to the songs of birds long since gone for the winter.

One neighbor has returned to sitting on their porch at night while another has started up their weekend campfires. The old retired guy has returned from the south and has set up his used golf equipment stand along side the highway.  And the motorcycle cops are back on the road spreading their springtime cheer.

All of these and many more are signs of spring. But the true sign of spring is the return of the Jehovah’s Witnesses. They must go south for the winter as we never hear from them during the winter.

When I was shopping at Meijer’s (regional grocery chain) the other day, someone hijacked my shopping cart. I was in the produce department shopping for spinach when an old woman grabbed my cart full of groceries and started to walk off.

I said, “Excuse me, but that is my cart.” She looked and said “Oh my, so it is. Where is my cart?” Seeing an unattended cart a few feet away I asked, “Is that your cart over there?” “Oh, why yes it is! Thank you so much” She grabbed the cart and went on her way.

About 30 seconds later I heard another woman exclaim “What happened to my cart?!!” Oops.  I decided that I needed to leave the produce section STAT.  Well, I tried.

Some students at a local community college recently set the Guinness record for the worlds largest meat ball. At close to 400 pounds, this baby would beat to old record by well over 170 pounds. After cooking it for about a day and a half, it was declared to be done. So, with the help of a forklift, it was removed from the oven and prepared for serving.

It was decided that the first 200 pounds would be donated to the local homeless shelter. So, the team began slicing off the out side of the ball. But, that is when disaster struck.

It seems that the Guinness folks require the meat to be cooked to a minimum of 160 degrees. Unfortunately, this one was not quite done in the center. So, the team salvaged what they could an weighted it. While it was quite a bit short of their 400 goal, it still set a new world record.

I guess if you can’t afford to go some place for spring break, then you make giant meatballs.

A man was recently killed while jogging on Hilton Head Beach. No, he wasn’t mugged, he was hit by an airplane. That’s right, an airplane.

It seems that an experimental plane lost power and the pilot had to make an emergency landing on the beach. With out an engine, the plane made no noise so the jogger never heard it coming. To add to the problem, the jogger was listening to his IPod so, he never stood a chance.

Getting hit by a plane while jogging on a beach….I guess his number was up.

Journal 07/13/00  A vision in prayer.

I proceeded on the trip again picking up where I left off. The throne went out the back as before and again I followed. Once again, I found myself in the grass plain.

I proceed across the plain to the mountains. And once again, I climbed up the mountains. Only, this time, I avoided the cave and opted to follow a path instead.

Coming through a pass, I came upon an ancient city with wall all around it and a gate. I looked through the gateway into the entrance of the city. There was a well made of stone in the center of the city. There were no people around and I didn’t enter the city.