Oprah!

The Governor of Michigan appeared on the Oprah Winfrey show today and signed a bill banning ” texting while driving”. While I fully support the bill, I didn’t think that she needed to do it on a TV show.

If she had appeared on the show after signing the bill, that would have been different. But, to sign the bill on TV just wreaked of theatrics. After all, this is the kind of theatrics that Doctor Death, aka Jack Kavorkian, would have done.

As a potential Supreme Court Justice you would think that she would be more image conscious. Oprah? What’s next, The View?

Demolition Derby.

The city of Detroit received 20 million from the federal government for the demolition of approximately 3,000 abandoned houses. And, the city actually demolished their first house the other day.

But then the state government stepped in and put a halt to it. It seems that the city had forgotten to do an asbestos abatement before they started tearing down the house.

Of course, the house that they tore down had already been attacked by arsonists. I guess the city should have let it burn down and saved themselves the grief.

Tough Decisions!

The other day as I drove home from work, I passed a women who had a cell phone in one hand and a cigarette in the other. Since she was driving with the cigarette hand, she had to decided which was more important: Did she want to talk or smoke? But, when I saw her put her face against the steering wheel and take a puff, I knew that she had solved the problem.

Maybe she can learn to steer with her knees.

National Cheese Sandwich Month.

April is National Grilled Cheese month. Unfortunately, I didn’t find out about it until just recently. Of course, I don’t know who determines these things, but I rather suspect it was someone associated with the cheese industry. And, in case you were wondering, March was National Pasta Month.

Well, since the month is almost over, I guess I won’t be doing any thing special.

After School Job.

The owner of a Detroit strip club was recently arrested for employing a 14 year old girl as a stripper. The girl, who had been working there for several months, made about $350 a night and worked several nights a week.

Unfortunately, her mother found out about the job and called the police.  I guess she wondered why her daughter kept coming home at 1 AM with lots of money.

I wonder if the girl had a work permit?

Grand Pa is a Cross Dresser

In a recent news paper column, a man wrote seeking advice on telling his 10 year old son that “Grand Pa is a cross dresser”.

It seems that the son had noticed that there were two different sized panties hanging on the clothes line. Plus, when Grand Pa bent over, his “Victoria Secrets” waist band was prominently displayed.

The reply suggested telling the boy that Grand Pa had a special condition that required special underwear.

Well, I guess you could say that was the case.

The Missing Persons Found!

An Ohio woman was reported missing on April 17. Apparently, she went to the store on Saturday and never came back. Video footage from various locations over the past several months showed her with a strange man. Both her and the strange man were seen withdrawing money from an ATM.

Well, they were found this week in a Florida motel, alive and very well. She said, “I just wanted to start a new life.” Oh well.

Excuse me?!!

The other day, my wife had a CT scan of her head. When the doctor came in to tell us the results, he proclaimed that there was good news; the CT scan showed that there was nothing in her head….

Mrs. Renfro’s Hot Sauce.

I was looking for hot sauce at Meijer’s (regional grocery chain) but couldn’t find anything but salsa. While I like salsa per se, I do get tired of the chunks. I don’t need to look at my sauce and say “Oh, there’s a pepper, tomato, onion etc”. I just want red with good taste and good bite.

Now, since all that the store had in stock was name brand salsa, I was disappointed. But then, I spied an off brand. Mrs Renfro’s Habanero sauce. It sounded good and it was made in Texas so I thought I would give it a try.

Smooth and flavorful with a kick *ss tang to it. Excellent!! I had never heard of this brand before but it has now become my favorite. Forget the name brands, this is now at the top of my list. YES!!!

Mugged!

A White House official was recently mugged while walking at 1:30 AM in Washington D.C.  Go figure!

What did he expect?  And, why was he out walking at 1:30 AM?  Drugs?  Sex?  Sliders?   I am sorry but I think this lack of common sense is rampant in the Obama administration in general.

Well, at least the mugger didn’t attend any White House dinners, ….or did he?