While at Kings Island, a Cincinnati amusement park, we saw a lot of people with a lot of different attire. Most of the people there were wearing shorts and a tee shirt.

But there was one couple that stood out from all of the rest. She was a fiftyist woman weighing in at about 400 pounds. She was wearing a halter top and judging by the size of her, it was all that the halter could do to rein those babies in.

And if that wasn’t bad enough, the waist band of her thong was about 3 inches above the waist band of her shorts. EEYYOO!

I suppose that she thought that she was hot and sexy. I know that the image of her will be in my mind for ever.

Where are the fashion police when you need them?

Every now and then, I grab a sub at Subway. And on the wall at Subway, they have pictures of the various subs along with a brief description of the sandwich and a number. And like most places, you can order your meal by just asking for a number. But not so with Subway or at least the Subways that I have visited.

When I go into a Subway, I study the menu selection on the wall. Then, when I decide on a sandwich, I ask for it by number.

The other day I went into a subway and after studying the menu, I walked up to the counter to place my order. “What’ll ya have?” “A number 4” I said. “What kind of bread do you want?” Fair question. After all, Subway does offer a variety of breads to choose from so I opted for wheat.

Then came the killer questions. “What kind of meat do you want on that?” Now I’m confused. A number 4 is supposed to come with turkey breast so I am not sure what he is asking. Thinking that maybe I can have the turkey warmed if I want, I respond by saying “Cold.”

I got a blank look from the man and he repeated the question. So I said “What are my options?” Rather annoyed the man said “Turkey, ham or roast beef.”

“Wait a minute, if I order roast beef, wouldn’t that make my sandwich a number 6?” “No” the man replied, “It would still be a number 4.” So I asked, “What is the difference between a number 4 and a number 6?” “They are the same”, the man said, “except that the number 6 is made with roast beef instead of turkey.” Seeing that the conversation was going nowhere fast, I opted for the turkey, just like in the picture.

Next, he asked me what kind of cheese I wanted on the sandwich. Not wanting to repeat the previous conversation I answered, “What ever cheese comes with a number 4.” To which the man responded, “You have the choice of provolone, cheddar, swiss or pepper jack.” “Pepper jack” I said.

Next came the veggies but I won’t even into detail on that.   In the end, I ended up with what looked like an number 8 but who knows. It made me wonder why they even bother putting up pictures of the sandwiches and the numbers as ultimately, you build your own sub.

Across the street from where my daughter lives in the Cincinnati upscale community of Montgomery, is a Catholic cemetery. At the front gate of the cemetery is a large wooded sign that states “Newly Remodeled!!”

Now, I had never thought much about what the remodeling of a cemetery might entail. In fact, I had never thought that a cemetery might need to be remodeled. But, there it was, newly remodeled.

I was tempted to go in and check out their remodeling job but since I didn’t know what the original cemetery looked like, I wouldn’t notice the improvements. And, since I doubted that the occupants complained about the place, I concluded that it must be the visitors who requested the upgrades.

For starters, there is a large berm at the entrance which cuts down on the road noise. I imagine that when the cemetery was first constructed, the area was rural and serene. But, with all of the highway growth in the area, the road noise probably increased dramatically. So, a berm separating the road from the cemetery would cut down on the noise.

At least, I think that the berm is for noise but I suppose it could be an Indian grave site. After all, that is what those large berms are at the Gerald R. Ford Museum.

Another thing that I noticed is that the roads have been freshly paved. I don’t know if the old roads were dirt or paved, but they are definitely paved now.

I also noticed that some new trees and shrubs have been added to the landscape. It also looks like there is new sod around the entrance as well as some new flowers.

Finally, there are new shrines for the patron saints and Mary and Jesus. After all, these are what makes a Catholic cemetery a Catholic cemetery.  Is there a patron saint for cemeteries?  If there is, I am sure that this place has a statue of him/her.

I wonder if they have a place for protestants in there but some how I suspect that the answer is no.

Two nuns and a hog drove their pickup truck into the alley behind the meat market. Now, this might sound like an opening line for a joke but it isn’t.

I was at the meat market the other day when two nuns drove their pickup truck into the alley behind the meat market. In the back was a hog that had been skinned, gutted and cut in half. A moment later, one of the guys from the meat market came out and grabbed the hog halves and hung them in the cooler.

Since this was an unusual sight even for Lowell, I had to ask the guy inside what that was all about. He said that the nuns bring their hogs over to the meat market and he grinds them up into sausage for the nuns for free. Then, with a sober look on his face, he added “I’d go straight to Hell if it didn’t.” And I really think he believes that.

One morning, while we were in Cincinnati, we ate breakfast at a Waffle House. Waffle House is a chain of 24 hour diners that seem to cover most of Ohio.

Obviously, as the name implies, waffles are their claim to fame. But, they seem to have a full menu of breakfast, lunch and dinner items.

Waffle Houses are not very big and the seating is limited. In fact, they are fashioned more after a diner than a restaurant.

Our visit was on a Saturday morning and the place was packed. But, it only took us a few minutes to get seated.

All and all, both the food and the service were excellent.

While we were in Cincinnati, we visited the aquarium. The aquarium isn’t actually in Cincinnati, it is across the river in New Port, Ky. But, while most people kind of know where Cincinnati is, very few know where New Port is so it is easier just to refer to Cincinnati.

Actually, the aquarium visit was apart of the river boat ride that we took. It was a hot day and the aquarium was air conditioned so it gave us something to do while we waited for the river boat to return.

Aquariums are OK but you can only look at fish for so long before it gets boring. We were trying to move through the place at a normal pace but there was a group of Boy Scouts ahead of us and they had to do a photo opt at every tank. Needless to say, they slowed us down quite a bit but we finally managed to get past them.

There are two things that I find annoying about aquariums. The first is not being able to locate the fish that they say are in the tank. And while I am not the kind of person that needs to see every fish listed, I would like to be able to locate that occasional fish that looks interesting on the placard.

If the placard says that there is a blue headed bobble fish in the tank, I would at least like to see one up close and in person. Instead, all I see are angel fish which are not listed as being in the tank. When I can’t find a fish I wonder if it is hiding or dead.

And the converse to not finding the fish in the tank, is having a fish in the tank that is not identified on the placard. Most of the time, I am looking at the fish in the tank and not on the placard. So, when I see an interesting looking fish, I would like to know what it is.

Unfortunately, the aquarium keepers like to throw strange fish into the tanks and not identify what they are. I wonder if they do this just to find a home for a stray fish or if they do it to see if the public is paying attention.

Oh well, such is life.

While Kathy and I were staying at our apartment in Cincinnati, I made a discovery: there was a penny in the toilet!

Now, this was not a big deal. After all, it was just a penny. But, where did it come from?

I believed that it came from Kathy. She, in turn, said that it came from me.

How could it come from me? After all, I just run my zipper up and down but she runs her pants up and down.

She said the she didn’t do it and I knew that I didn’t do it so, maybe there is another explanation. Maybe, a gnome put it there. After all, that Travelocity guy gets around. Maybe he thought it was a wishing well.

Kathy handed me the toilet brush. I told her that I didn’t think the penny needed to be polished. Instead, I just pushed the handle on the toilet and voilah, the penny disappeared.

I wonder if the gnome got his wish?

After returning from Kings Island, an amusement park in Cincinnati, we ordered out for pizza. When the pizza arrived, the delivery person handed us four tubes of sour cream.

Apparently, the fine people of Cincinnati like sour cream on their pizza. I guess that’s just in case you didn’t get enough fat from the cheese, the pepperoni and the olive oil, you can supplement your diet with some sour cream.

Kathy and I passed on the sour cream since we are trying to reduce the fat in our diet. On the other hand, we encouraged daughter Rachel to eat all of the sour cream as she could stand to gain some weight.

Kings Island, a Cincinnati amusement park, has an old fashioned train ride. It looks and sounds like an old fashioned steam locomotive but it is all electric.

Like a modern locomotive, this replica is powered by batteries. But, unlike modern locomotives, there is no diesel generator to charge the batteries. Instead, the engine is driven into a special barn where it is charged. Since a charge won’t last for a full day, there are two engines and they alternate between charging and running.

Along with the electric motor are electric steam engine sounds. The engine makes chug chug sounds as it goes down the track and even has an electric whistle.

The train is not as fun as the one that Cedar Point, another Ohio amusement park, used to have. But, it is more environmentally friendly since it doesn’t use real coal.

While we were visiting Kings Island, a Cincinnati amusement park, our roller coaster ride was held up as we waited for a fat couple to get seated.

Now, I shouldn’t use the term fat when referring to these people. They were both over 400 pounds so I guess the word “obese” would be a better choice.

Either one of them could have occupied the coaster car by themselves, but, they wanted to sit together. So, we got entertained watching them try to squeeze into the car.

First, the attendants tried strapping in the woman and then the man. When that didn’t work, the attendants strapped in the man and then tried the woman.

Finally, after about 10 minutes, they were both strapped in, if you can call it that. They were both strapped in and seated in the car, but they had so much fat oozing over the edges of the car, I had to wonder how safe they would be.

In fact, I had to urge to take a broom handle over to them and poke some of that fat back into the car. There was almost as much of them hanging out of the car than was in the car.

While most rides have a minimum height restriction, they should also have a maximum size restriction. FWIW.