Modern Fit.

While shopping in a clothing store, I noticed that there were three categories for women’s clothes; Slender, Curvy and Modern.

Now, I understand Slender and I understand Curvy but what is Modern?  Is that another term for Fat?  And what happened to Regular fit?

The Mayor Of Ionia.

The Attorney General for the State of Michigan recently investigated the security of a prison after a break out last winter.  And, he made several recommendations.

Apparently, the local TV news team was having trouble locating any officials who would comment on these recommendations.  So, they interviewed the mayor of Ionia, a small city near the prison.

Now, the mayor of Ionia has no financial or jurisdictional approval for anything that the prisons do.  But, he did get to appear on TV and express his indifference to the recommendations.  And, the new team did get an interview from an official.

It is too bad that the Drain Commissioner was not available as it would have made for a much more interesting interview.

Decapitation!

During a recent news report, the news team stated that the victims head is missing and that the police suspect that he was decapitated.

SUSPECT!!??  Do they think he may have left his head at Walmart?  Did they check “lost and found”?

His head is missing. Of course he was decapitated.  Hello!!

Quaker Boot Camp.

The other day, I noticed signs giving directions to a “Quaker Boot Camp”.  Now, I am not sure whether this is a camp for Quaker children or if it is a camp where you learn to make Quaker Boots.  Maybe it is a camp where the Amish send their adolescent men who insist on wearing black stocking caps instead of the traditional Amish hats.

Poop Guards.

Like automobiles, Amish buggies have fenders over their wheels to block flying debris from their wheels.   But, unlike automobiles, Amish buggies also have a shield on the front of their buggies to block flying debris from horses.  And, having seen some of that debris on the side of the road I can understand why.

Punk Amish.

While driving through Amish country, I noticed that all of the men dressed alike and so did all of the women.  However, I did notice that some of the young men had abandoned their traditional black hats for black stocking caps.  What’s next, fake tattoos and tinted buggy windows?

You’re Number 1!

While preparing for a trip to a small town, I checked their web site for directions.  And while I knew that the town was small, I was surprised to discover that I was the first visitor to their web site.  Well OK!!