The newest releases of Windows has two new features.  One is the jumping cursor.  With this feature, you can be typing along on one line and have your cursor automatically jump to another random location.  This feature is handy if you want some interesting sentence structures.

The other feature is the page clear key.  Microsoft has incorporated a new function key that will erase everything that you have just typed and transport you to a new page.  This feature will automatically detect when you are too wordy in your writing and make you start over again.

Microsoft, the company that we love to hate.

Just when you thought that you had everything that you could ever want, the tortilla warmer came along.

For all of you folks from the South who have been relocated to the North, you can put those homesick blues away.  Green boiled peanuts are now available on your grocers shelf.  And, they are already shelled for you!

With one of these, you too can slice fruit like a pro.

I recently saw a sign advertizing “Advanced Plastic Surgery”. I wondered what the difference was between “advanced plastic surgery” and “basic plastic surgery’?  And quite frankly, if I were going to require plastic surgery, I would rather go with the advanced than to take my chances with the basic.

Recently, a TV game show went on a hiatus to Hawaii.  And, while they were there, they had Hawaiian contestants.  I was rather amused at the look on one contestants face when they won an all expense paid trip to Miami.  I suspect such a trip would have been more meaningful to someone from Montana.

Scientists have recently determined that stupidity is caused by a virus.  Unfortunately, there is no known cure.  But, at least we know that stupidity is a disease.  And because it is a disease, it can be transmitter to others.  So, stay clear of stupid people.

At work, we are often given the opportunity to join various committees.  And, they are always looking for more volunteers.  But, in the latest effort to get more participation, they made volunteering mandatory.

“And you will enjoy it.”

So, I have top wonder if the Lash Studio is a place for eye lashes or a bondage room for S&M?

While looking at toilets in the stores, I noticed that they are always up high off of the floor.  At first, I thought that they were up high so that you could see them easier.  But then I realized that they were up high to prevent use.