There is a new type of underwear on the market called “Shreddies”.  Shreddies claim to fame is that they absorb gastrointestinal odors.  No more “Crop dusting”, no more staying down wind, no more working the crowd.   In short, your farts won’t smell.   And, with an ample supply of cotton wadding, no one will hear you either.

A garage sale sign said it all when it stated that “our crap can be your crap.”  Well, OK.

Miss Cheryl Kantz and I are now engaged!

Since I have had a little bit of experience with diamonds, I was pretty sure that a 1 carat diamond would be the best size for her petite hand.  So, that is where we started.

They first showed us the Tolkowsky line of diamonds.  Tolkowsky patented a method for cutting round diamonds so that they reflected lots and lots of light.  In short, they sparkled all of the time.  In fact, they sparkled so much that you couldn’t really see the diamond.  All you could see was the sparkles.

I sensed that Cheryl, my fiancee, was not that impressed with these diamonds and asked to see other cuts.  As she moved from the round cuts to the more rectangular cuts, I suggested the emerald cut.   Once we saw that emerald cut diamond in the mounting that we had chosen, we were taken a back and agreed that this was what we were looking for.

And when they told us that it would be ready in 2 hours, we were elated.  No week long wait, our ring would be ready for wearing that same day.  Very impressive.  Way to go Jared’s.

Not ever having set food in Jared’s before, I wasn’t sure what to expect.  I had envisioned a lot of diamond rings and we would pick from the selection.  But, that was not the case.  Every diamond ring at Jared’s is custom built.  That means that you pick the setting and you pick the stone and they build it for you.

They started out showing us massive settings with lots and lots of little diamonds around the main mount.  And while, they were pretty, they were too massive for my bride-to-be s tiny fingers.  Besides, they distracted from the main diamond.  Finally, they showed us a setting simple but classing setting the complimented the main diamond.

Next would be the stone.

Went my fiancee and went shopping for an engagement ring last Saturday afternoon, we thought that we would check out the local Grandville jewelry stores.  But, much to our dismay, they were closed on Saturday afternoon.

The fact that they were closed on a Saturday afternoon really surprised me.  I would have thought that Saturday would be a major shopping day for them.  But, what ever.  So, we headed for the mall.

Well, we have had another rash of school students killing people.  And, the liberal media is horrified and asking why?  Yet, the liberal media are the same people who supported banning prayer in public schools and prohibiting the display of the 10 Commandments.

When you teach amorality in schools, you get amorality in society.  Go figure.

A clothing catalog advertized “Goddess Sizes at no extra cost”.  And, while the catalog did not define “Goddess Sizes”, I suspect that they are larger than “Pixie Sizes.”

“Ditching Begins in Two Weeks.”  That is what the road side signs said in Indiana.

Now, I don’t know what “ditching” is all about.  And, since I don’t know when the signs were posted, I am not sure if I need to be concerned.

Of course, I also don’t know how long “ditching” will last.  For all I know, “ditching” could be finished.

Maybe “ditching” refers to icy roads and the signs are a weather forecast.

Hash-browns or breakfast potatoes?  That was a question that I was asked while ordering breakfast.

So, I had to ask just what were breakfast potatoes?  She told me that breakfast potatoes were just fried potatoes.  Then I had to ask if you could get breakfast potatoes for lunch or dinner and she said “yes”.

Well OK.  Breakfast potatoes is just another name for fried potatoes.