Recently a student in China killed 7 students with a knife.  Since China restricts gun ownership, people are forced to use knives and homemade bombs.

Nabisco is coming out with new flavors of Oreo s, including pop corn.  I wonder if the popcorn people with come out with a new Oreo flavor?

Studies in England have shown that children can no longer read analog clocks.  Well OK.  I guess analog clocks join the ranks of cursive writing.

That is right.  There is a world wide wive shortage!!  Stock up while you can.  Still have that old Y2K bunker?  Better fill it with bottles of wine and prepare for the worst.

Our invitation to the royal wedding has not yet arrived but we expect it any day now.  We already have picked out the perfect gift for the couple.  It is a saucer with a picture of the surrender of General Cornwallis painted on it.  I am sure that they will treasure it.

Our Alexia starts talking in the middle of the night with no one around.  When I have caught her at it, I have asked who she is talking to.  And she always replies, “I don’t understand the question.”  I guess she has taken her dialogue from Hillary.

Last week, I received a card in the mail reminding me that it is time to replace my mattress.  According to the card, you should replace your mattress every seven years.  Of course that “seven year” standard comes from the mattress industry so I have a hard time taking in seriously.

Our local grocery store is now selling frozen seaweed.  And while I am not opposed to eating seaweed, I don’t think that it will be a big seller here in Lowell.

A stabbing occurred at a local shopping mall.  No it wasn’t a drug deal gone bad.  Rather, it was a dispute over a parking space.

The ad says that the perfect Mothers’ Day gift is a gift card from a big box lumber yard.  Nice try but somehow, I don’t think so.