The other day, we had some celery that was getting old so my wife threw it outside for the “critters” to eat.  Unfortunately, the “critters” wouldn’t eat it.  I concluded that they were probably waiting for ranch dressing.

The other day while driving during a snow storm, I notice someone driving their 911.  I guess while he was rich enough to afford a 911, he wasn’t rich enough to afford a different car for winter.

My mother was notorious for buy Christmas gifts and then forgetting about them until months later.  Then when she would discover them several months after Christmas, she would give them to us.  I guess you could say that she made Christmas last all year long.

While out shopping this Christmas, I noticed an elderly woman wearing a platinum wig, faux fur coat, red leggins and high top black boots.  Well, I guess bad taste knows no age limit.

This year we purchased a sheet of stick-on “To, From” Christmas tags for our gifts.  But the tags, which featured a dark blue background, made it impossible to visibly write a name.  Oh well, at least the sheets were not expensive.

Researchers have discovered that putting a bottle of wine in a bucket of ice water cools the wine faster than putting it in a bucket of plain ice.  I wonder if they know what happens when you put a tea bag in a cup of hot water?

When I went shopping for painting supplies, I noticed that there were 3 levels of acrylic paint.  But, what is the difference between them and which level should I buy?

I wonder if this is really the price or if there is a mistake in the ad?  Either way, I am only buying the one year subscription.

This is a picture of a French Nativity scene.  And while you see the usual sheep and goats and donkeys along with Mary and Joseph, they also included a painter.  Whatever.

I really think they meant to say “No food or drinks allowed”.