Red, White, Pink or Green are now wine options here in Michigan.  It seems that some asparagus growers have discovered that they can make wine out of asparagus. And, it ferments in less time than fruit.

Of course, I wonder what asparagus wine tastes like?  I guess I would like to try it before I purchased any.  But, more to the point, I wonder if I could drink a wine that is green?

I wonder if it makes your pee smell bad?

The other day, I noticed that the Wendys’ that I frequent now has free WiFi.   So, the next time I went there, I took my laptop with me.

When I fired up my PC, I noticed that the signal strength was weak, only one bar.  This really surprised me.  After all, it is not a big restaurant.  Nor did it have a lot of obstructions.  I guess they didn’t want to radiate into the parking lot.  What ever.

When I logged on, I noticed that it was really slow.  I looked around the dining area to see if there were others using the service, but there weren’t.  Must be their ISP is slow.

I tried reading my emails but it took almost 5 minutes to open each email.  I was almost finished with lunch before I even opened one email.  Sloooooooooowwwwww.

Then, I tried opening my eHarmony account.  But, that site was blocked.  I couldn’t believe it.  It is not like I was opening an adult content site.

At that point in time, I decided to give it up and leave.

Wendys’ WiFi may be free but it is worthless.  Next time, I will go to McDonalds for lunch.  Not only is their WiFi free, it also works.

The other day, I was reading a womans’ description of her self.  She said that she had a “genital personality”.

I am sure she meant to say that she had a “gentle” personality.  However, she said “genital” none the less.  And, since she correctly spelled it, it wasn’t flagged by the spell checker.

Now, I find the thought of a genital personality rather intriguing.  In fact, I have had some bosses that I think had a genital personality.

Since Microsoft already has a spell checker and a grammar checker, they need to come up with a “thought” checker just to make sure that we mean what we write.

When I purchased my new mattress, they threw in a free 19″ flat screen TV.  Now, I didn’t really need a new TV,  but it was included for free so I said “Why not”.

When my sales person took me to the TV section of the store, I was introduced to the TV man who was going to get me my free TV.  He announced that he had over 350 of these TVs in the warehouse but didn’t know if he had any in the store.  He would have to check.  Fine.

He went to a shelf behind him and pulled down a ring binder.  After flipping through several pages, he pulled out his calculator and started punching in numbers.

It was at this point that I stared to suspect the ole “bait and switch” routine.  I figured that at any moment he was going the announce that my free TV was not in stock but for an additional $$$ I could upgrade to a better TV which he just happened to have in stock.

Sure enough, after running the numbers and going out to check his stock, he came back with a TV.  But, as predicted, it would cost me extra.

The TV that he had in the store was $50 more than the one that I was supposed to get for free.  But, in an effort to show “good will”, he offered to split the difference.  For $25 dollars, the TV would be mine.

I thanked the man and told him that I would wait for the free TV to arrive at the store.

I don’t like being played.  The man had a nice act but no Oscar.