Just before Christmas, my Grand Kiddies assembled a gingerbread house.  And, they were told that they could not eat it until after Christmas.

So, after Christmas, they dug into the house only to discover that it wasn’t very tasty.  Consequently, I was left with a gingerbread house that no one wanted.  So, I threw it outside under the bird feeder.

Now, the squirrels did not know what to make of it.  They would approach it, sniff it, do a back flip, and then run off.  Moments later, they would return, take a guarded bite and then run off.  And, they repeated this activity all afternoon.

Well, the house is still there and I suspect that it may be there come spring.

I love unenforceable rules.  What is a communicable disease and who is going to check for it?

I guess you can consume Tequila!

Recently, a woman announced that she has consumed 8 mattresses in her life time.  Apparently, the woman has an eating disorder and needs to eat mattresses.

I wonder if she prefers twin, full, queen or king?

I recently saw an ad for “Organic Kitchen Faucets”.  Somehow, I never think of plumbing as organic.  I guess that means that they were produced without any fertilizers or pesticides and that would be correct.  So, I guess that they are in fact “organic”.

I also wonder if they were free range faucets?

While I was flying the other day, I found an iPad sitting on top of a urinal in a restroom at the terminal.  I was uncertain as to what I should do but I figured that who ever had forgotten it would soon come back for it.  So, I left it there.

But, Cheryl pointed out that I should turn it in as the next person to find it might not be as honest.  So, I went back for it.

At first, I tried to turn it in to the TSA folks but they wanted nothing to do with lost and found and suggested that I turn it in at the gate.  The gate people were happy to assist and quickly determined that there was no ID tag on the outside.  But, on checking the i Pad database, they were able to determine that it belonged to a woman.

I pointed out to the gate crew that I had found the i Pad in the MEN s restroom.  So, unless this person was having a gender identity problem, the woman was probably not the person who had left it there.  But, they paged the woman several times with no success.  Finally, it was time to leave so I don’t know what ever happened to the i Pad.

I found the whole event to be rather unsettling.  I didn’t like the fact that someone would not notice that their i Pad was missing.  And, I didn’t like that fact that it was right in front of them as they were leaving.  And, I didn’t like the fact that the owner of the i Pad appeared to be a woman.

I suspect that the TSA will be showing up at my door any day now.

The other day while I was eating in a restaurant, I noticed a container labeled “imitation sour cream”.

Imitation?  How hard can it be to make the real thing?    What’s next, imitation yogurt?

It was so cold in Chicago on Monday that the local zoo made the polar bear come inside.  Zoo officials explained that polar bears in the wild have much more fat on them than what the zoo bear has.  So, the bear could not withstand the cold weather.

I knew that there was a reason for my weight gain.

I have always wondered about the First-class seating on airplanes.  First of all, they get to board first.  This means that they get to have all of the coach passengers with their carry on luggage, shuffle past them.  Personally, I prefer to be the last to board the plane for that very reason.

Second, they put the First-class passengers in the front of the plane. On a normal flight,  this isn’t a problem.  However, in the even of a crash, the front of the plane is the first to go while the tail stays intact.

So, I guess the First-class passengers pay extra so that they can have everyone shuffle past them and so that they can be the first to go.

Yesterday, when it was -8, I saw a teenage girl walking through the parking lot wearing a parka and gym shorts.  Maybe she has found an alternative to shaving her legs.