We watched “Are you smarter than a fifth grader?” on TV the other night. Judging by the contestants, it would appear that anyone smarter than a fifth grader will never be allowed on the show.

The show consists of the moderator, Jeff Foxworthy, five fifth graders and the contestant. The contest is given a selection of topics with questions ranging from the first grade level to the fifth. And, each time that the contestant answers the question correctly, the prize money increases. And for a few questions, the contestant has access to the fifth graders for the answer.

The first contestant was a surfing instructor at UCLA. He was thirty something and well, a surfing instructor. When asked “How many states are not adjoined by another state?” he had to take the full time allotment and then hesitated with his answer. Needless to say, he didn’t even make it to the fifth grade questions.

The next contestant was a thirty something blond whose claim to fame was that her mother was a school teacher. Needless to say, she made the surfing instructor look brilliant.

While the show may be humorous, it also reflects the failure of our education system during the 80’s and 90’s. Fortunately, the fifth graders show that their may be hope yet for the future.

Comcast finally made their cable modem visit. I thought that they were going to change out my cable modem for theirs’. Instead, they handed me the new cable modem, a thick booklet, two installation CDs and a box for shipping the old cable modem back.

That’s fine. I am capable of installing a cable modem on my own. But, I had to wonder how many Comcast customers would not have the tech savvy to install their own modem? So, I decided to get out their thick booklet.

As I expected, the first few pages had disclosure information on them. Then there were rights of use information followed by liability notices. This was followed by copyright information which proceeded warranty information.

In short, there were 36 pages of terms and conditions (Ts & Cs) but no installation information. I guess they figure that if you are smart enough to use the internet, you are smart enough to install the cable modem.

By the way, the new service won’t be available until New Years eve. I hope they have their help desk staffed.

Roush just announced that it is going to increase production of its P51A Mustang by 50%. Usually, Roush limits its production to 100 a year. And at 65K apiece, I can understand why. Among the many modifications to the stock Mustang is a 510 horse engine and 18 inch wheels.

Apparently, this car is becoming quite popular. Personally, I wouldn’t mind having one but it is not very practical. I guess the gas prices are not high enough to discourage these buyers.  Time will tell.

I scheduled an appointment with Comcast to upgrade my internet service. Actually, if I didn’t upgrade by Dec 31, they would cut me off. So, I made an appointment for Thursday, 2 weeks ago.

Wednesday night, there was a message on our answering machine saying that they had to cancel as the system was not quite ready. They went on to say that they would call us to reschedule.

OK. But I am wondering when? There is only 2 weeks left before they cut me off. Perhaps they are going to do me on Christmas day.

Ring ring. (Me) “Hello”.

(caller) “Hi. Did you get the appointment I sent you yesterday?”

(Me) “No.”

(Caller) “Well, I sent you an appointment yesterday and you didn’t accept it.”

(Me) “That because I didn’t get it.”

(Caller) “Oh, well let me resend it. Did you get it yet?”

(Me) “No.”

(Caller) “Well, you should have gotten it by now. It was an appointment for a conference call for this afternoon.”

(Me) “Well, I haven’t gotten it yet. Why don’t you just give me the conference call number and pass code.”

(Caller) “Tell you what, I will try to attach the information to an email and send it that way. Did you get it yet?”

(Me) “No.”

(Caller) “I know, I’ll just put all of the information in an email instead of attaching it. Did you get it yet?

(Me) “Yes.”

(Caller) “Great. Thanks! Goodbye.”

……..And they call this technology.

I play bace in one of the bands at church. I started out doing the 4th and 5th grade classes. But, due to the holidays and their special music, I got moved to the Chapel venue.

Sunday was to be my first appearance in the Chapel, but when I got to the Thursday night practice, Andy, the full time head music dude, told me that I was going into the main stage for Sunday.

This was a total surprise! Instead of playing 2 services in a venue of 200, I played 2 services in a venue of 1000. Unfortunately, I didn’t get any music in advance. Fortunately, they were playing Christmas Carols which I knew.

The main stage is different than the 3 venues. First of all, it is big. Oh sure, it’s not Leeds but it is huge compared to the other venues.  Next, they only have a couple of floor monitors. Instead, they opt for wireless ear buds. Fortunately, I had a floor monitor in front of me. I had enough to put me on overload without adding ear buds.

All and all, it went well. The sound guy told us that we sounded good and added that he doesn’t say that unless he means it. He also said that if someone is playing crappy, they don’t make it into the main mix. Since I could hear myself in the main mix, I guess that I was playing OK.

After the first of the year, I will go into the Chapel. It should be a little more relaxed.

We had a snow storm this weekend. All and all, we got about 6 inches of snow. I had to get the snow blower out and clean the drive way. It has been a long time since we have had this much snow before Christmas. It’s that global warming.

I was reading an article about problems at Giant Stadium. It seems that during halftime when the Jets are playing at home, men lineup on the ramp at gate D and holler for women to expose their breasts.

If a woman does, the men hoop and holler. If she doesn’t, the men throw stuff at her.

Apparently this has become a halftime tradition over the years. And, more importantly, security does nothing about it.

It would seem to me that if these guys are so intent on seeing womens breasts, there are a lot cheaper options than a Jets game. Don’t they have strip club or topless bars in the area? And if all else fails, they can always join a nudest colony.

I suspect that it is only a matter of time before this behavior escalates into something more violent.  After all, alcohol is involved.

The Department of Human Services, aka DHS, provides welfare to the citizens of the State of Michigan. And from what I have seen, it is not just another job, it is a personal commitment.

I had the privilege of visiting a DHS office a few years back. It was Friday and I noted that everyone was wearing blue jeans. They told me that every Friday is blue jean day. Then they asked me if I wanted to buy a ticket for their 50/50 drawing. Since it was only a buck, I thought “why not”.

When I asked them what they did with the money, they said that they use it to buy supplies. When I asked what kind of supplies, they said it was emergency supplies like food and clothing.

This surprised me as I thought that the State would provide food and clothing. They said that the State does provide these but sometimes people walk into the office for the first time and have absolute nothing. So, the office lets them go shopping, so to speak, in their storage area.

OK, but again I asked why the State doesn’t provide these emergency supplies. They said that the bureaucracy doesn’t allow them to do that because there is no way to account for the food. So, rather than take the chance that someone would steal a can of beans, the bureaucracy will not fund such food banks.

But, the faithful and dedicate staff at these offices contribute their own money to help the poor. As I said, it is not just a job, it is a commitment.

I was in Meijer’s (regional grocery chain) shopping the other weekend when I noticed a fifth grader smiling and waving at me. He looked familiar but I could not place from where. So I smiled and waved back. His face glowed at the recognition.

He was at the opposite end of the isle so we were not in talking distance. When I glanced over at him again, I sudden remembered where I knew him from. He was one of the 90 plus kids that I play for on Sunday mornings. He recognized me even though I wasn’t playing the bace.

Apparently, I am making an impression on the kids that I play for. How cool!