While visiting daughter Rachel in Cincinnati, we attended the church that she goes to; the Montgomery Community Church. They have three services on Sunday morning; 8:30, 10:00 and 11:30. They also have a Saturday evening service. We attended the Saturday evening service.

It was a little unusual for us to attend a Saturday evening service but we liked it. The service was quite upbeat and featured a lot of contemporary songs from a band with about 12 musicians.

One of the musicians was a former drummer for Santana. He was good but I had to wonder how a former drummer for Santana ended up at a church in Cincinnati? But, I guess it doesn’t matter.

All and all, it was a nice service.

The other morning, I pulled into the drive through at one of Lansing’s Burger Kings to order a breakfast sandwich. As I was waiting for my food, I noticed that there was a city bus behind me also waiting for food.

I thought this to be rather unusual and a bit out of place. I was surprised that the bus was able to negotiate the tight turns required by the drive up window. And I was also surprised that a city bus driver would break from his route to grab some food.

But more than that, I had to wonder if there were people on the bus. And if there were, did they order food also?

I had to wonder if this was a regular stop on the bus line. I could envision a bus schedule where the number 14 bus stops at Burger King every hour on the hour and at Micky Ds every hour on the half hour.

But more to the point, does the city know that one of its transit worker is stopping at a Burger King with a city bus?

I read an article about Rachel Aldana. She is an 18 year old British woman who made the Guinness book of world records for her 32JJs.

Now, I did’t know much about how bras are sized since I seldom shop for them. And when I do shop for them, it is with a full set of engineering specs. from my wife.

I knew A, B, C, D and E but I had no idea just how large a 32JJ really was. So, doing what I always do when I need information, I went on line.

No, I wasn’t looking for pictures. I was looking for how bras are sized. And, what I found out was quite interesting.

First, you measure the diameter of your rib cage just below the breasts. This is where you get your number from. In the case of the champ, she is 32.

Next, you measure the diameter of your rib cage at the apex of your breasts. This is where you get your cup size from. For every inch that your breast measurement is above the measurement just below your breast, you go up a cup size.

For example, if the measurement just below your breasts is 32 and the measurement with your breasts is 34, then you need a bra that is a 32B.

Now, if I am understanding this, a JJ would mean that they went through the alphabet once and are starting a second round. So a JJ would be 36 inches above her initial measurement of 32 inches. That would mean that she has a 68 inch chest!!

Having breast that large can’t be fun. In fact, she says that men stare at her and that women give her dirty looks. Go figure.

Last Saturday afternoon, I got a call from Mitt Romney. He had a conference bridge set up and asked me to join his town hall forum. Apparently, he was inquiring about west Michigan as to our concerns and issues.

If you wanted to ask him a question, you hit a button on your phone and waited for your turn. Then, when it was your turn, you got to ask him your question.

Questions were limited to one per house hold but still, how often do people get to ask a candidate a question?

I was impressed with the answers that he gave. He was a quick thinker and a very good speaker.

And even though the forum lasted only about 15 minutes, I was still glad I joined it.

I wonder why he picked me?

While at Kings Island, a Cincinnati amusement park, we saw a lot of people with a lot of different attire. Most of the people there were wearing shorts and a tee shirt.

But there was one couple that stood out from all of the rest. She was a fiftyist woman weighing in at about 400 pounds. She was wearing a halter top and judging by the size of her, it was all that the halter could do to rein those babies in.

And if that wasn’t bad enough, the waist band of her thong was about 3 inches above the waist band of her shorts. EEYYOO!

I suppose that she thought that she was hot and sexy. I know that the image of her will be in my mind for ever.

Where are the fashion police when you need them?

Every now and then, I grab a sub at Subway. And on the wall at Subway, they have pictures of the various subs along with a brief description of the sandwich and a number. And like most places, you can order your meal by just asking for a number. But not so with Subway or at least the Subways that I have visited.

When I go into a Subway, I study the menu selection on the wall. Then, when I decide on a sandwich, I ask for it by number.

The other day I went into a subway and after studying the menu, I walked up to the counter to place my order. “What’ll ya have?” “A number 4” I said. “What kind of bread do you want?” Fair question. After all, Subway does offer a variety of breads to choose from so I opted for wheat.

Then came the killer questions. “What kind of meat do you want on that?” Now I’m confused. A number 4 is supposed to come with turkey breast so I am not sure what he is asking. Thinking that maybe I can have the turkey warmed if I want, I respond by saying “Cold.”

I got a blank look from the man and he repeated the question. So I said “What are my options?” Rather annoyed the man said “Turkey, ham or roast beef.”

“Wait a minute, if I order roast beef, wouldn’t that make my sandwich a number 6?” “No” the man replied, “It would still be a number 4.” So I asked, “What is the difference between a number 4 and a number 6?” “They are the same”, the man said, “except that the number 6 is made with roast beef instead of turkey.” Seeing that the conversation was going nowhere fast, I opted for the turkey, just like in the picture.

Next, he asked me what kind of cheese I wanted on the sandwich. Not wanting to repeat the previous conversation I answered, “What ever cheese comes with a number 4.” To which the man responded, “You have the choice of provolone, cheddar, swiss or pepper jack.” “Pepper jack” I said.

Next came the veggies but I won’t even into detail on that.   In the end, I ended up with what looked like an number 8 but who knows. It made me wonder why they even bother putting up pictures of the sandwiches and the numbers as ultimately, you build your own sub.

Across the street from where my daughter lives in the Cincinnati upscale community of Montgomery, is a Catholic cemetery. At the front gate of the cemetery is a large wooded sign that states “Newly Remodeled!!”

Now, I had never thought much about what the remodeling of a cemetery might entail. In fact, I had never thought that a cemetery might need to be remodeled. But, there it was, newly remodeled.

I was tempted to go in and check out their remodeling job but since I didn’t know what the original cemetery looked like, I wouldn’t notice the improvements. And, since I doubted that the occupants complained about the place, I concluded that it must be the visitors who requested the upgrades.

For starters, there is a large berm at the entrance which cuts down on the road noise. I imagine that when the cemetery was first constructed, the area was rural and serene. But, with all of the highway growth in the area, the road noise probably increased dramatically. So, a berm separating the road from the cemetery would cut down on the noise.

At least, I think that the berm is for noise but I suppose it could be an Indian grave site. After all, that is what those large berms are at the Gerald R. Ford Museum.

Another thing that I noticed is that the roads have been freshly paved. I don’t know if the old roads were dirt or paved, but they are definitely paved now.

I also noticed that some new trees and shrubs have been added to the landscape. It also looks like there is new sod around the entrance as well as some new flowers.

Finally, there are new shrines for the patron saints and Mary and Jesus. After all, these are what makes a Catholic cemetery a Catholic cemetery.  Is there a patron saint for cemeteries?  If there is, I am sure that this place has a statue of him/her.

I wonder if they have a place for protestants in there but some how I suspect that the answer is no.

Two nuns and a hog drove their pickup truck into the alley behind the meat market. Now, this might sound like an opening line for a joke but it isn’t.

I was at the meat market the other day when two nuns drove their pickup truck into the alley behind the meat market. In the back was a hog that had been skinned, gutted and cut in half. A moment later, one of the guys from the meat market came out and grabbed the hog halves and hung them in the cooler.

Since this was an unusual sight even for Lowell, I had to ask the guy inside what that was all about. He said that the nuns bring their hogs over to the meat market and he grinds them up into sausage for the nuns for free. Then, with a sober look on his face, he added “I’d go straight to Hell if it didn’t.” And I really think he believes that.

One morning, while we were in Cincinnati, we ate breakfast at a Waffle House. Waffle House is a chain of 24 hour diners that seem to cover most of Ohio.

Obviously, as the name implies, waffles are their claim to fame. But, they seem to have a full menu of breakfast, lunch and dinner items.

Waffle Houses are not very big and the seating is limited. In fact, they are fashioned more after a diner than a restaurant.

Our visit was on a Saturday morning and the place was packed. But, it only took us a few minutes to get seated.

All and all, both the food and the service were excellent.

While we were in Cincinnati, we visited the aquarium. The aquarium isn’t actually in Cincinnati, it is across the river in New Port, Ky. But, while most people kind of know where Cincinnati is, very few know where New Port is so it is easier just to refer to Cincinnati.

Actually, the aquarium visit was apart of the river boat ride that we took. It was a hot day and the aquarium was air conditioned so it gave us something to do while we waited for the river boat to return.

Aquariums are OK but you can only look at fish for so long before it gets boring. We were trying to move through the place at a normal pace but there was a group of Boy Scouts ahead of us and they had to do a photo opt at every tank. Needless to say, they slowed us down quite a bit but we finally managed to get past them.

There are two things that I find annoying about aquariums. The first is not being able to locate the fish that they say are in the tank. And while I am not the kind of person that needs to see every fish listed, I would like to be able to locate that occasional fish that looks interesting on the placard.

If the placard says that there is a blue headed bobble fish in the tank, I would at least like to see one up close and in person. Instead, all I see are angel fish which are not listed as being in the tank. When I can’t find a fish I wonder if it is hiding or dead.

And the converse to not finding the fish in the tank, is having a fish in the tank that is not identified on the placard. Most of the time, I am looking at the fish in the tank and not on the placard. So, when I see an interesting looking fish, I would like to know what it is.

Unfortunately, the aquarium keepers like to throw strange fish into the tanks and not identify what they are. I wonder if they do this just to find a home for a stray fish or if they do it to see if the public is paying attention.

Oh well, such is life.