You Are Crazier Than Me!

A number of years ago, a local dairy farmer broke his leg and was laid up for several weeks.  So, his wife took over the dairy work.  But, in doing so, she decided to improve the operation by super cleaning the barn.

Later, when the farmer was back to work, he and his wife disagreed on the cleaning of the barn.  Finally, she told him that he was “Nuts” and needed a psychiatric evaluation.   He responded by saying that he would take one if she would take one.  And so they did.

Unfortunately, he passed but she didn’t.  So, she divorced him out of spite.  He went on to lead a normal life but she went on to be very strange.

The Rating Scale.

I recently attended an online class.  At the end of the class, I was asked to rate the class.

Now, doing ratings are fairly common but I was a bit surprised at their rating scale.  5 stars was great, 4 stars was bad, 3 stars was very bad, 2 stars was very very bad and 1 star was very very very bad.

Some how, I got the feeling that they had an inferiority complex.

The Meijer Store Manager.

About once a year, our local Meijer store (regional grocery chain) gets a new store manager.  And, in the past, I hadn’t given it much thought.  I just assumed that these managers had completed a training course and were now getting their first store.

But then I wondered “where do you go after becoming a store manager?”  Do you just move from store to store?  Do you become a regional manager?  After the holidays, I will ask the present store manager.

The Snowblower Key.

The other day, I was showing my wife how to use the snow blower when it suddenly quit.  This did not surprise me since it had not been used since last winter.  But, try as I might, I could not get it started.  So, I put it back in the garage until I could work on it.

When Saturday rolled around, I tried to get it started again.  That is  when I noticed that the key was missing.  When I inserted the spare key, it started right up.  And while it will run just fine with the spare key, I have to wonder what happened to the original key.

BFF…….NOT!!!!

When my late wife was in junior high, she met a girl while they were both attending Interlocken.  And even though my wife was from the country and this girl was from the big city, they became best of friends.  Soon, they were spending time together on holidays and summer vacations.  In short, they became “Buds”.

As the years went on, they became very close.   We often spent time together as married couples with small children.  She was even in our wedding. Then one day, she dumped my wife like last weeks garbage without a word of explanation.

My late wife was devastated.  Each year my wife would send her Christmas cards, and Birthday cards, and anniversary cards and letters.  But, there was no response.  Emails went unanswered.  Letters were not acknowledged.  Voice mails were not returned.

My poor wife was broken hearted.  She couldn’t understand why her best friend was treating her this way.  Every time that she would send her BFF a Christmas card, she would eagerly check the mail every day for weeks hoping for a reply only to end up disappointed.  For 16 years she waited and for 16 years, she cried.

I felt sorry for my poor wife.  I tired to tell her that her BFF was not her BFF, but my wife wouldn’t hear of it.  She knew that some day, her BFF would return.  I was doubtful.  So, needless to say, I was shocked when her BFF wanted to be my friend on Facebook three years after my late wife had passed.

What was she up to?  What was her motive?  Why after all of these years?  Was it guilt?  Was she looking for closure?  Was she on an ego trip?  Did she have some evil intent?  I didn’t trust her.  And so, I struggled with allowing her back into my life.  But, finally, I gave in and accepted her as my Facebook friend.

Soon, it became apparent that her Facebook posts were all about her.  ALL about her. How wonderful she was when she did this and how wonderful she was when she did that and how she was just so wonderful!

I soon regretted allowing her on my Facebook account.  But then, after a few weeks, she dumped me as her Facebook friend.  And that was fine with me.  I hope to never hear from her again.

 

High Cholesterol

For many years, my cholesterol level was 199 and that was OK with the medical community.  Then one day, it went up to 201 and my doctor told me that I was going to die if I didn’t do something about it.  So, I went on medication.

The first medication made my muscles hurt and didn’t seem to lower my cholesterol.  So, my doctor changed my meds.  The next medication he gave me didn’t lower my cholesterol so he put me on a different one.  That medication didn’t work either so we went on to a fourth medication.

That medication lowered my cholesterol but it was expensive. So, my insurance company didn’t like paying for it.

Finally, one day, my insurance quite paying for it.  If I wanted it, I had to pay for it myself.  When I asked my doctor about it, he said that the cholesterol numbers no longer mattered as long as I was taking a cholesterol medication and gave me a prescription for a much cheaper medication.

Maybe I could skip taking the medication and just send the drug company a check every month.

Baked Lava.

I grew in a small rural community which was, well, not very culturally diverse.  So, when a few good citizens discovered Baklava at a restaurant in Grand Rapids, they had trouble pronouncing it.  But, not to be deterred by a little thing like pronunciation, the people of the community were all a buzz about this wonderful desert called “Baked Lava.”  Needless  to say, the culture horizons of the community were shaken.

Giving Tuesday.

Well, Tuesday was “Giving Tuesday”.  With Black Friday and Cyber Monday, the non-profits decided to cash in with their own special day.  And, they made it sound like it was a super day for giving.  Unfortunately, the people who solicited me on “Giving Tuesday”  are the same ones who solicit me all year long.