The opening news story last night on the 6:30 news was that President Obama was finishing another busy day.  Finishing another busy day?  While it is 6:30 in the evening here, it is 7:30 in the morning over there.  So, if he is finishing up another busy day, his days must be rather short.  But, I suppose that leaves him a lot of time for site seeing.

Actually, I think that most of the viewers realize that there there is a time difference.  So, it probably would have been better to have reflected that fact in the news story.

A new cafe has opened in Portland Or. Its specialty is free marijuana. That’s right, free marijuana.

For a monthly membership fee, people with a medical slip from their doctor can receive marijuana for free. Food can also be ordered at the cafe but you have to pay for that. And, for obvious reasons, they don’t serve alcohol.

I suppose they don’t have a non-smoking section.

We live in a woods. We have a bird feeder which attracts an assortment of birds. The birds, in turn, attract an assortment of predators. Thus, it came as no surprise when something large swooped down at the feeder and grabbed a bird.

We don’ know what it was that came swooping down but it was a rather small raptor and probably a sharp shined hawk. Nor do we know what it was that got snatched since it happened so fast.

We do know that shortly after the snatch, yellow feathers came raining down, followed by blue feathers. Then, black feathers.

Winter is just around the corner so the critters are getting ready.

It all started when I became a Christian back in 1968. Shortly after that, I had the first of my special dreams.

By special dreams, I mean these are dreams that set them selves apart from others just by their very nature. In these dreams, it is as if I am looking at a black and white photo. I see my self in the photo but there is no movement nor is there any sound. And, I am looking down at the scene from above.

In the first dream, I saw my self in an army uniform wearing a parade drum. I was standing in a small spartan room with three other guys who were also wearing parade drums. One of the guys was a tall black man wearing a “smoky the bear” style hat.

The room had a couple of green wall lockers and there was a single porcelain light fixture hanging from the ceiling. There was a window on one the end of the room and a door on the other. The window was a double hung with about a dozen small panes of glass supported by a wooden sash.

A year and a half later, I went into army basic training. One of the sergeants, a tall black man with a “smoky the bear” style hat, was a music major in college specializing in percussion. He got this idea that it would be really cool to march with the parade drums.

So, he rounded up the three of us and we started practicing in a small room with a multi paned window on one end and a door on the other end. There were a couple of green wall lockers and a single porcelain light fixture hanging from the ceiling.

At the time, I thought to myself that this is really freaky but I didn’t realize that this was just the first.

Crocs has introduced a new shoe called the “Cayman”. Cayman is also the name of a line of Porsche’s. And so, the German Giant is suing Crocs for copyright infringement. After all, people might mistake the auto line for a pair of shoes.

But more to the point, what do the fine people of the Cayman Islands think of all of this? Will Porsche make them change their name too?

Crocs, just like Porsche, picked the name Cayman because of the image it portrays.

Maybe their lawyers should read “Das Kapital”.

A company called Urilift makes popup potties. And yes, that is exactly what they do.

Many cities are faced with the problem of public urination. Because there is a lack of public toilets, the night time bar crowd often step into alleys or along side of buildings to relieve themselves. Such actions not only create a smell, they also damage property. So, to help curb this problem, cities are installing popup toilets on the city sidewalks.

These public toilets remain below the side walks during the day when the streets are the busiest. And, they look something like a manhole cover. But, at night when the bar crowd arrives, these toilets spring forth from their hiding place in the sidewalks.

One unit, for example, is 3 feet in diameter and provides three urinals. Another is oval shaped and provides a single toilet.

All and all, they are intriguing but I wonder if they are practical. I guess time will tell.

There is a new fad for removing wrinkles. Instead of injecting your self with botox poison, you can now get rid of those lines with a dermaroller.

Dermarollers look like a tool that is used on wall paper to make sure that the edges are pressed down. The only difference is that the dermaroller has small needles on the surface.

If you have an area on your face that needs some work, you just roll the dermaroller over that area several times. The action of the needles puncturing the skin causes the skin to regenerate. This regeneration then removes the blemish from your skin. Plus, if used in conjunction with your facial cream, it helps the cream to penetrate deeper into the skin, much like making swiss steak.

Given the fact that this device can be purchased for home use, it is only a matter of time before some woman totally destroys her face.

The other day, I had lunch at a cafeteria at MSU. The old days of “this is what we are serving, take it or leave it.” have been replaced by a menu.

As I was reading over the menu, I noticed that it was not as extensive as a restaurant but they did offer about a dozen different entries. And I noticed that they offered both chicken fingers and vegetarian chicken fingers.

Vegetarian chicken fingers??? How odd! While I realize that some vegetarians do eat chicken, what would be the difference between regular chicken fingers and vegetarian chicken fingers? Were the regular chicken fingers fried in animal fat and the vegetarian chicken fingers fried in corn oil?

I suspect that the vegetarian chicken fingers were really chicken flavored soy and not chicken at all. But then, where do they get the chicken flavor from? Chickens?

But more to the point. If it tastes just like chicken how do you know that it isn’t chicken? And, if you are a vegetarian, shouldn’t you be offended that someone is trying to imitate the flavor of meat?

I opted for the burrito. It was made with some sort of meat though they didn’t say what it was.

The other day, I injured (broke ?) my leg. I am now walking with a cane which is a slow process. So, when I went to Meijer’s (regional grocery chain) last Saturday, I decided that I would use one of their little electric Amigo scooters to do my shopping.

The scooter was a one seater, and reminded me of an episode of Seinfeld. The only difference was that this one had a wire basket on the front. With a forward and a reverse and nimble steering, I found that I could maneuver quite easily.

Realizing that I would be limited in my reach, I took Kathy with me. She had a regular size cart. I would stop in front of the items that we needed and she would load them into her cart.

Since Kathy is known for making frequent sudden stops, we decided that it would be best if she followed me. This would help maintain marital bliss as well as insuring that she didn’t end up in my basket.

When you are in one of these carts, you have the vertical profile of an eight year old. And since there is no bell or horn on the thing, you can only hope that people see you.

As I started down the International Foods isle, I noted that there was a huge congestion in the center. No problem, I just put it in reverse and backed up. That is when I discovered that you could do “Rockford” turns with the cart. Impressive, though the fat woman with the shopping cart gave me a dirty look.

When we hit the produce section, with its bunkers and its islands, I found the cart to be quite agile. A few quick turns and I found myself going through the product section like I was running a giant slalom. First the onion gate. Then the potato gate. Finally I crossed the finish line at the bakery.

All and all, I would highly recommend the Amigo carts for anyone with a marginal impairment but bring your own bell.

A number of years ago, we were members of a good sized church. And, even though the church was large, they still maintained their conservative values.

One Sunday, I read a notice in the bulletin that they needed ushers. Since the ushers stand at the entrances to the sanctuary and hands out bulletins, I figured that I could handle that. So, I notified the head usher of my interest. He, in turn, was delighted and told me that he would put me in the rotation right after I finished my training.

Training? I needed training to hand out bulletins? He told me that training would take place next Sunday morning right after church and would last about a half hour. What ever.

So, I showed up at the appointed time and place and was met by the head usher and another volunteer. We were both handed an agenda and a book entitled “So, you want to be an usher”.

The first item on the agenda was “proper attire”. Standard – shirt, tie, slacks, shoes and socks. Optional – sport coat or sweater. But more to the point, no jeans and no sandals. After all, no Christian would be caught wearing sandals to church. Next up, bulletins.

Bulletins were to be passed out right side up and facing the front of the church. That way, the usheree can immediately open their bulletin with out having to re-orient it.

Passing out bulletins was a little more complicated as it required good hand/eye coordination. Look the usheree in the eyes, smile and say “good morning” while at the same time shaking their hand. Then, hand them a bulletin.

The two of us took turns practicing with one another until we finally got the feel for it. The head usher seemed pleased and told us that we would be ushering next Sunday.

Come Sunday, I showed up at the church early so that I could attend the weekly ushers meeting. The usher meeting was brief and we went over the order of the worship service. After the meeting, we all headed to our assigned posts.

Since I was new, I was given one of the end isles. The end isles were not as busy as the center isles, so it was a good place to start. I took up my position and began handing out bulletins.

Soon, I looked up and saw the head usher heading my way. Maybe he is going to complement me on my job. But no, he was not smiling.

He told me that I was not doing it right as my usherees were having to re-orient their bulletins. He then grabbed my bulletins from my hand and proceeded to give me a refresher course right there on the spot.

After he handed out about a dozen bulletins, he handed the stack back to me and told me to try again. When he was satisfied that I was doing it right, he left.

When the organ started to play the prelude, I knew that the service was about to start. Once the service started, I was to remain at my post until the minister started to preach. That way, I could hand out bulletins to any late usherees.

Now, since I had been standing for about a half hour and since the usherees had stopped arriving, I decided to lean against the door way of the sanctuary. That’s when I notice the head usher making a bee line right towards me. In a gruff whisper, he told me to stand up straight!

Wow, this ushering thing is pretty intense. Maybe I am not cut out for the job. I obviously don’t take the job as seriously as the head usher. And since this would be an ongoing conflict between us I decided to resign.

Truly, he was king of his domain. I think I understood why there was a shortage of ushers.