At 600 pounds, a Florida man was recently declared to be too fat for jail. So, he will remain confined to his bed. What was his crime? Stealing food of course.

Some Aborigines have convinced Prince William to search for the Holy Grail. Well, maybe not the Holy Grail but they have convinced him to search for the head of a former chieftain.

It seems that back in the 1700s, this chieftain was terrorizing British settlers because he resented their invasion of his land. (Go figure) So, they put a bounty on his head. Sure enough, after a few years, some one managed to kill him.

The British were so over joyed that they cut off his head, pickled it and then sent it back to England. And of course, over the years, the British lost the head. Now, the Aborigines want the head back so William has promised to find it for them.

Of course, I doubt that anyone would be able to identify the head even if they did find it. So, William could choose from any of the hundreds of pickled heads that the British have and give that to the Aborigines.

I wonder what they plan to do with the head if they get it?

Journal 08/30/00.  A vision in prayer.

We come down off of the golden platform and proceed to the right side of it. We go down a long dark corridor. As we move down it, I can see a reddish orange light at the end of it. The light gets brighter the closer we get to the end.

The hallway opens out on to the Lake of Fire. And while flames shoot up across the lake, I do not feel the heat.

There is no one in the lake at this time. But I am thinking that in a matter of time, all of those souls who are lurking in the shadow are going to end up in the lake.

A Democratic Representative from Georgia, who was addressing the defense committee, expressed his concerns about the island of Guam.  He was afraid that the population of the island might be more than it can handle and it could capsize.  A general reassured the Representative that the island was attached to the ocean floor and not likely to tip over.

Did I mention that this guy voted for the health care bill?

Our neighbor and local contractor is renovating an old building on main street.  When we drove past it today, there was a big orange and black sign hanging on it that said “Coming Soon, Hooters”.   Nough said.

My wife was recently laying on the examination table at the doctors office when a nurse came in to take her temperature. In an effort to encourage my wife to do the same, the nurse opened her mouth wide and said “Aaaah”. At that moment, a tic tac fell out of the nurses mouth and landed next to my wife’s face. There were several minutes of laughter before she could take her temperature.

There is a movement afoot to have Ronald McDonald removed from McDonalds. Why? Because he encourages children to buy food from McDonalds.

Hello!! That is what advertising is all about. I am sorry if you don’t approve of the food but if it isn’t Ronald, it will be some one else.  I guess if you don’t want your children to see Ronald McDonald, then don’t let them watch commercial TV programs.

Out butts must be shrinking. At least that is the only reason that I can think of as to why the toilet paper rolls are smaller.

My new laptop came with a bunch of games. Not only did it have the old standbys like Solitary and Minesweeper, it also has a new assortment.

The other night, as I was going through the games to try them out, I noticed that checkers was also included. Now, I haven’t played checkers in over 30 years, so I thought that I would give it a shot.

When I called up the game, it told me that I would be playing against a live opponent. Well, playing against the machine is one thing but a live opponent is entirely different. And since I hadn’t played in 30 years, I figured that I would get my butt kicked. But, as it turned out, I won.

I guess I was the one kicking butt. Of course, I quit after the first game. I mean, why take chances. But later it occurred to me that I might not have been playing against a seasoned veteran. I fact, for all I know, I could have been playing against a 3rd grader.

Journal 08/03/00.  A vision in prayer.

I am in the Throne Room standing before the throne. I asked about the medallion. He said that it contained the answers to many questions about life and death.

Then the throne turned and descended down the back of the pyramid. This time, it was more of a slide down the back. The slide went up and down and eventually started spiraling down.

Then, I was in total darkness. Everything was black. Finally, the throne appeared and I started following it again.

The throne made a 90 degree turn and started to move away from me. I tried to turn to follow it but was not able to at first. I cried out that I was not able to turn. Finally, I force myself to follow.

Once again, the throne turned and once again I was not able to follow. So I had to force myself to make the turn. We did this a few more times and then stared down a tunnel.

We came out on to a grassy field and there was a great walled city before me. I walked up to the gates and enter the city. There is a set of steps that lead up to a large wooden door. I walked up the steps and opened the door.

I found myself in the chapel at the Gethsemane monastery. I was high over head looking down. There was a white runner on the floor.

Suddenly, the monks came in bearing a casket. I realize that brother Mathew is dead and that this is his service.

I descend to the floor. I am bare foot and wearing my white robe and medallion. In my one hand is a staff and in the other hand is a censor.

I proceed down the isle to the casket at the front of the church. When I arrive, I swing the censor over the casket making the sign of the cross. I then open the casket and anointed his head. I then took off my medallion and touched it to his lips. I put the medallion back on and left.