The other day when I was in Meijers (regional grocery chain) I witnessed an accident. A guy in one of those motorized shopping carts came charging up to the checkout where I was at.

He was going too fast and lost control. He ended up hitting a display at the end of the checkout and knocking it over. Little cans of something went flying every which way.

Fortunately, the man was not injured. The cashier was not amused.

The other day as I was going through the drive through at Micky Ds, my food was handed to me by a woman with two black eyes. At first I thought that she must have been in a accident. But, upon closer examination, I realized that it was eye makeup.

Now, I am not talking about a little excessive, I am talking a lot. And it wasn’t just eye liner, it was eye shadow. This woman could easily pass for one of the androids in Blade Runner.

Since it is too early for Halloween, I am writing it off as bad taste.

Officials in NYC are relieved to learn that the death of a child was not related to the Swine Flu. It was just the regular flu.

Of course, the child is still dead and the his death was caused by the flu, it just wasn’t Swine Flu so I guess that is OK.

I am sure that the media is very disappointed.

The other morning, when we were trying to sleep in, we heard a strange “thump” coming from the addition. Assuming that it was just one of the cats, we didn’t think much of it. But when we heard it a few more times, we got up to see what was making that sound.

To our surprise, there was a turkey in full mating display, pecking at one of the windows. Apparently, he saw his reflection in the glass and thought it was another male turkey infringing on his territory. Of course, every time he made an aggressive more towards his reflection, his reflection made an aggressive more towards him.

After about an hour, the turkey decided that his reflection was tougher than he was and so he moved on. Living in the woods is always interesting.

On my way to work one day, I noticed a sign along the expressway advertising “Cheeky Monkeys”. I though it was an unusual name for a business and wondered just what kind of an establishment it was.

Upon further scrutiny of the sign, I learned that it was a cafe, which really surprised me. With a name like Cheeky Monkeys, I would have expected a pizza place with arcade games, kind of like Chucky Cheese. So, the cafe/bakery motif took me by surprise.

Well, I wish them the best.

Two park workers in Yellowstone were recently fired after a surveillance camera caught them urinating in Old Faithful.

I can understand their thinking. They were equating their urinating to that of Old Faithful urinating.

Some how I suspect that alcohol was involved.

A restaurant in Reading Ohio, which is just outside of Cincinnati, recently got in trouble with the local authorities. It seems that the owner had a mannequin, wearing only a bikini top and short shorts, standing outside its restaurant. The city thought it was obscene and told the owner to put some clothes on it.

The case went to court and the owner lost so now the mannequin is wear a t-shirt.

These people need to get a life.

My daughter lives just outside of Cincinnati. Maybe we can go there the next time we visit.

Mickey Ds had to recall one of its happy meals. It seems that the happy meal had music in it which used the “F” word in the lyrics.

I image someone is going to lose their job over that one.

A high school girl was going to have her picture taken for the year book.  So she came to school with her hair done up and wearing a very nice dress. But because she didn’t want to have any pantie lines showing in the picture, she decided not to wear any panties. And as fate would have it, she had her picture taken while she was sitting in the front row of the bleachers.

When the yearbook arrived, it showed her with her hair done up and wearing a very nice dress, sitting in the front row of the bleachers. Of course, it also showed her whoha.

When her mother saw the picture, she was outraged and demanded that the school to retrieve all of the yearbooks.

As of yet, the school has not taken any action.  I’ll bet that book will become a collectors item. Well, at least she didn’t have any pantie lines showing.

The blue grass festival is this weekend at the Lowell fairground. And, even though the festival doesn’t start until Friday night, travel trailers and motor homes were arriving for the event as early as last weekend.

I am alway amazed that people can afford to take a week off from work and just sit around playing blue grass music. I must not be living right.