A man in India holds the Guinness book world record for the longest ear hair. At 10 inches, the man is proud of his accomplishment.  He reminds me of a character from the Wizard of Oz.

And to think that I always pull mine out.

All winter long, I have been seeing full page ads for Amish fireplaces. It looks like a fireplace but it is on wheels and plugs into any electrical outlet. It even has what looks like a flame.

The claim is that these fireplaces will reduce your heating bill through Amish technology. Well, first of all, you can’t really use Amish and technology in the same sentence. Second, the fireplace needs electricity which I didn’t think that Amish people had.

In actuallity, the fireplaces are nothing more than a fancy electric space heaters which are made in China. The Amish merely add a fancy wood trim to the heaters and through a massive ad campaign, market it as an energy saving device.

Now, granted, it may save energy as it allows you to turn down the heat for your whole house and only use the fireplace to heat the area that you are occupying. So, in that sense, it does work, but, so would any other electric space heater at a tenth of the cost of the Amish fireplace.

Makes you want to check that patchwork quilt just to make sure it wasn’t made in Thailand.

The economic down turn is certainly global.  A man in China found that he could no longer afford to support a wife and five mistresses. So, he decided to eliminate one of the mistresses.  Unfortunately, he let the eliminated one drive his car. Enraged over being culled, she drove the car off a cliff with him in it. He survived but she didn’t.

Hell has no fury….

The owner of a Muslim TV station in up state NY confessed to cutting off his wife’s head.  It seems that they were going through a divorce.  Apparently, it was not going well.

Oh, and the purpose of the TV station was to show Muslim’s in a positive light.  Well, it certainly changed my image of them.

A few years ago, my wifes parents took a family picture. The picture included sons and daughter, son-in-law and daughter-in-laws, grand son and grand daughters and great grand daughter.  In short, the whole family.

Now, there was just one thing wrong. The grand son was there with his girl friend. Should she be included in the picture? Well, since they were engaged, she was included in the picture.

Unfortunately, the wedding never took place and now, this insignificant other, is in the family picture. So, with the advent of computer technology, the insignificant other is being removed from the picture.

I guess it is easy come, easy go.

Nine inch nails are nothing. A woman in Utah had nails that were almost 36 inches in length. I say had because she recently broke them in an accident.

She had not trimmed her nails since 1979 and had set the Guinness world record for the longest nail. Her nails were so long that they touched the ground. And, they were absolutely disgusting to look at.

Besides being ugly, they must have left her handicapped. How could she carry out normal every day activities? It would seem that no matter what she did, those nails would get in the way. Things like eating or getting dressed would be impaired.

Maybe now she can get back to normal, if she remembers what that was.

A son and daughter were recently reunited with there parents after they had been abducted 20 years earlier. It seems that grandma and grandpa did not approve of the way the kids were being raised so they abducted them and hide them for 20 years.

Through home schooling and cleaver disguises, they were able to avoid being captured. But, when a TV program aired pictures of them when they were little and pictures of what they might look like now, they were discovered.

You would think they would have asked questions about their parents.

A woman wants the set the Guinness worlds record for the largest beasts. Through a series of surgeries, she is now a 38 KKK! If she succeeds in her efforts, she will bump Rachael Aldana, at 34 JJJ, from the spot light.

I wonder if she will still want those large breasts when she is 60?

After seeing the Burger King ads for the Angry Whooper, I decided to try one. And, given my luck with fast foods lately, I decided to try it while it was still on the menu.

Besides the standard Whooper fair, it also had bacon, pepper jack, BBQ sauce and jalapeños. The first bite bit back. Very nice! It was everything that I had hoped for.

Probably the next time I try to order it, they will have removed it from the menu.

A man from Australia was detained by airport authorities after it was discovered that he had pigeons in his pants. The man had bought the pigeons overseas and since Australia is very strict on importing animals, he decided to circumvent the process.

The authorities were not amused.