Spring is in the air. At least it is in Detroit. And as a rite of spring, the ice fishermen got rescued from an ice flow in the Detroit river.

It seems, once again, 135 ice fishermen ventured out on to the river ice only to have it break away with them on it. And, as in years past, the coast guard had to rescue these hapless souls, lest they flow out into the Atlantic.

Now, the fisherman should have known better. After all, there was a crack in the ice so big that they needed a pallet to cross over it. But, their desire for ice fishing prompted them to take that risk and go out onto thin ice.

Fortunately, after last years spring rescue, the coast guard has decided to start charging these morons for their stupidity. No more free rescues at the tax payers expense. From now on, if you want to be stupid, it is going to cost you.

Some how, I expect to see the same thing again next year.

A woman recently donated her kidney. While kidney removal is common, this one was unusual because the kidney was removed via her vagina.

Apparently this procedure is preferred as it is less intrusive than the conventional method. And I guess it doesn’t work for men.

I was on break with several of my co-workers when one of the women noted that she was going to see her Ob-Gyn tomorrow. One of my male co-workers, who has been divorced several times, asked what an “Ob-Gyn” was.

Not wishing to miss an opportunity for a little humor, I said that Ob-Gyn was that guy from Star Wars. All of the women busted up laughing. But my male co-worker, having completely missed the joke, started ranting about how he hated that movie which made the women laugh all of the more.

I guess there is a reason that he has been divorced so many times.

The Meijer’s (regional grocery chain) that I shop at has an air lock for entering and exiting the store. So you have two door from the outside into the air lock and two doors from the air lock into the store. Likewise, there are two doors exiting the store into the air lock and two door exiting from the air lock to the outside.

I call the one set of doors, exiting the store, “the gum ball door”. I call it the gum ball door because there are a series of gum ball machines between the inner and outer doors. And, these gum ball machines attract mothers with children. Or, I should say, children with mothers.

The problem is that there isn’t enough room. So when these children, with their mothers, stop at the gum ball machines, they block the path between the inner and outer doors.

Now, normally this isn’t a problem for me since I try to avoid using the gum ball door. But the other day, the other exit door was blocked by someone who had set off the security alarm. So, I used the gum ball door. And sure enough, the cart in front of me stopped for the gum ball machines.

I was trapped. But, I kept my wits about me and quickly veered off towards the other exit door. And before those kids could even drop their quarters, I was in the parking lot.

Timing is everything.

An Austrian designer has produced the most expensive cell phone ever made. It is diamond studded and sells for 2.5 million dollars!

Since it is a standard phone with the diamonds added, it is subject to the same dead zones that we all experience. And while the reception is the same, at least it will look good even if you don’t have any bars.

During the 60s and the 70s, there was a Lansing based band called the Plain Brown Wrapper. Out of curiosity, I looked them up on line just to see if they were still around. And sure enough, I found two bands named the Plain Brown Wrapper.

One band was located in Maryland so I was fairly sure they were a different band. But, I did find another band located in the Detroit area.

I suspect that the Detroit band may be from the original Lansing band though I didn’t recognize any of the band members. They certainly were old enough to be from the original band.

Speaking of age, I wonder if they gig at retirement communities?

A young woman showed up uninvited at her sister’s wedding reception. The woman then attacked the bride pulling out some of her hair and forcing her to the ground. The police were called.

The woman said that she just wanted to talk with the family about the problems they have been experiencing.

I think I understand the problems that they were experiencing and why the woman wasn’t invited to the wedding. She’s nuts!

There is a new food dish that is sure to make the rounds this Super Bowl weekend. It is called Bacon Explosion.

The dish is fairly simple to make. It requires 2 pound of bacon, 2 pounds of ground Italian sausage, barbecue rub and barbecue sauce.

To start with, you weave a mat of bacon that is about 10 X 10 and sprinkle it with the rub. Then, you add the ground Italian sausage, spreading it evenly over the bacon mat. Then you cut the remaining bacon into squares and cook it up as you would with any bacon and top off the sausage with the bacon. Add barbecue sauce, and then roll the sausage/bacon mixture into a log. Finally, you rap the log with the bacon mat and slow cook in a smoker for about 2 hours. When it it done, you glaze it with more barbecue sauce and serve.

Only 5,000 calories and 500 grams of fat. Yum!

Seven Japanese men were hospitalized after eating blowfish testicles in a Japanese restaurant. Blowfish are highly poisonous if they are not properly prepared. And, apparently, their chef was not licensed to prepare blowfish.

The poison in blowfish is one of the deadliest in the world. When consumed, it numbs the nervous system and inhibits breathing and the pumping of the heart. There is no known antidote for it and people are kept alive by respirators until the poison wears off.

Now, not all parts of the blowfish are poisonous and the fish itself is not all that tasty. So, the chef serves the non-poisonous parts along with just a touch of the poison so that the customer can experience the numbing feeling in their mouth. The trick, how ever, is to ensure that the consumer doesn’t get too much poison.

I think I would rather have a good lobster.

It looks like the 6th annual lingerie football game will be canceled this year. The reason? The promoter can’t promise that the spectators won’t be nude.

The pay for view Super Bowl half time show is sponsored by a group of individuals who, well, like to live in the buff. So, there is no guarantee that urge to go “au natural” would not over power the need for discretion. And, after Janets unfortunate wardrobe malfunction, the network decided not to risk another media event.