One NFL franchise has announced that it will allow men to tryout for cheer leading positions on the team. While having male cheer leaders is not new, these come with a little twist. You see, these male cheer leaders are dressed like women; as in Transvestites.

Now having Transvestites on the cheer leading team would add a whole new dimension to the game. Would the sports commentators discuss which ones are women and which ones are men? Would the men watching at home bet with each other as to the real gender of the girls?

I wonder which locker room they would use?

The New York Time is available on line. You can read every article in the paper for free. The only thing that you don’t have access to is the crossword puzzle. If you want to do the crossword puzzle, you have to pay.

So, the news is free but the games aren’t. Must be that people buy the NYTimes for the crossword puzzle and not the news. Works for me.

It was the Friday before the long 4th of July weekend and Jimmy T. planned to go boating for the weekend. And since he planned to leave right after work, he brought his boat with him.

Now, normally most people would pull their truck through the parking spaces so that the truck is parked in one space and the boat is parked in the parking space behind it. But not Jimmy T. He was concerned that someone might ding his truck or his boat so he parked his rig next to the curb, perpendicular across 6 parking spaces.

Now this was a problem. You see, his boat was about 3 feet from the communications manhole where I needed to work. And that manhole was full of vile, stinky water which needed to be pumped out before I could work down there. And rather than pumping that vile stinky water on to the grass, we had to pump that vile stinky water into the parking lot where Jimmy T.s boat was located.

In all fairness to Jimmy T. I decided to ask him to move his boat. But, being a good judge of character, I was pretty sure what his response would be. And, I was right. So, 10 minutes later, I popped the cover to the manhole and prepared to pump.

The pump that I used was powered by a small gas engine and it could discharge into a standard fire hose. But since I was so close to the parking lot, I chose not to dirty the hose. So, with a couple of pull of the rope, the motor started and the pump began doing it’s thing.

And as expected, the water was vile and stinky. It was so bad that I moved up wind of the stench. Unfortunately, Jimmy T.s boat was down stream of the spray. And while the water was not directly spraying on his boat, the light wind of the day carried the mist into the boat.

After I finished pumping out the manhole, I tossed several of those toilet scenting cakes into the manhole and closed the lid. The manhole would need to freshen for several days before I could work down there.

And Jimmy T.?  Well I am sure he had a good holiday.  After all, he wouldn’t have been bothered by mosquitoes as the flies would have been too thick.

Now that Jimmy T. had a new office and a campus phone, he needed a loud bell so that it could be heard in the building.

I always loved it when self important people would ask me for a loud bell. They may as well have asked me for a sign which read “kick me”.

You see, a few years prior, I came across a construction horn left behind from the construction of one of the campus buildings. And that horn was good for a 1/4 of a mile. So, when Jimmy T. demanded a loud bell, I knew just what to give him.

I hung that horn inside the building near his office. Since the horn was really made for outside use, it really rattled the windows inside the building.

Now for the best part. Since I was the campus phone man, I had one of those clip on phones just like the phone company. And, I could go to any telephone terminal on campus and place calls.

So, whenever I saw Jimmy T. standing right next to the horn, I would clip into a terminal and give him a call. The loud horn would make him immediately jump and run back to his office. Of course, by the time he got there, I would have hung up.

Now, he suspected that it was me so he would immediately check the telephone terminal near his office. Of course, what he didn’t realize was that I was in a different building, watch him through the windows.

He should have let me thrown those boxes in his dumpster.

When the build was far enough along in construction, Jimmy T. moved from his trailer into one of the offices in the building. That is when he told me that I was going to be putting in a phone for him whether I liked it or not.
So, I installed a phone for him. It was one that I had sitting on the shelf. It was a princess phone. It was pink. He was not a happy camper. I thought the phone was appropriate.

He knew that it would look bad if he complained about the phone so, he asked for a 15 foot handset cord. He was betting that I would not have a pink 15 foot handset cord in stock and that I would have to change out the phone with another style and color.

Well, he was correct. I did not have a pink 15 foot handset cord but I did have an orange 15 foot handset cord. So, I installed an orange handset cord on the pink princess phone. And to make things more interesting, I removed the pink handset and replaced it with a green one.

He should have let me throw those card board boxes in his dumpster.

Jimmy T. was the son of Henry T. Henry worked very hard to build himself a very successful construction company. And Jimmy T. was the rich kid destined to inherit it all. A silver spoon boy so to speak.

Well, the Ts were awarded a construction contract at Calvin College where I worked at the time. Jimmy T. was the construction foreman for the job and I was responsible for installing the phones in the building.

Unlike other construction projects where all of the subs reported to the general contractor, I reported to the VP of Business for the college. So, I was a VERY independent contractor and Jimmy T. didn’t like that at all. So, he TRIED to jerk me around when every he got the chance.

One day, I unboxed some equipment for the phones in the building and threw a couple of small empty boxes in the dumpster at the construction site. When Jimmy T. saw me, he came running out of his office and proceeded to chew me out for using his dumpster.

Now, had he been nice to me, I would gladly have removed the boxes and put them in the trash else where. But no, he was down right nasty. So, I removed the boxes and proceeded to burn them on the ground outside near his office.

Once again, Jimmy T. came flying out of his office and once again he confronted me. He told me that it was against the law to burn trash in the city. I thanked him for the information and then told him that it really wasn’t any of his business. He turned red in the face and went back inside.

I just love passive aggressive behavior.

Over the past few months, I have noticed that some shoppers at Meijer’s (regional grocery chain) are using reusable shopping bags instead of the plastic ones. These shopping bags are made of a heavy duty woven synthetic material with two handles and a special flap for attaching to the Meijer’s check out bag holder.

At a dollar a piece, I considered them to be a better alternative to the regular plastic bags that Meijer’s uses. So, I bought six of them.

These bags actually hold more that the plastic bags and are much stronger. Plus, they have a couple of side straps for bottles. All and all, they are a very good idea.

However, there is one major problem with these bags and that would be the owner. You see, while I bought the bags with the intend of going green, they are useless if I forget to take them with me. So, I have taken to carrying them in the trunk of my car. At least, if they are in the trunk of my car, they stand a good chance of making it on to the Meijer’s property.

Now, I am batting about .500 on actually using the bags. Once, while I was in the check out, I remembered that the bags were in the car. So, I excused my self to my fellow shoppers and went out to grab my bags.

Unfortunately, the other day, I was too far along in the checkout process to leave the line. So, in an effort to save face, I requested paper. (we use paper bags for recycling)

While I may not have used my new heavy duty bags, at least I wasn’t using those plastic ones.

Each year at Christmas time, I exchange gifts with two of my co-worker. While our gifts are usually stuff like wine or small trinkets, every now and then, one of us gets creative. And this year was one of those years.

This year, my co-worker Dawn, gave me a gift bag with tissue paper covering the gifts. Inside the bag was a computer screen cleaner that looked like one of the M&M characters and some chocolate liqueurs. Very nice.

When I got home, I pulled the gifts out of the bag to show Kathy. She was really interested in the chocolate liqueur and proceeded to examine the selection. Moments later, she said that there was something else wrapped up inside the bag.

Surprised, I went over to the bag and removed the final contents. It was a box of Enzyte.

Kathy and I have seen those ads on TV for Enzyte and know that it is touted to be a natural male enhancer. However, Kathy was under the opinion that I am enhanced enough and any more enhancing would limit her ability to get any work done around the house. So, she took the Enzyte away from me and told me that I couldn’t have any.

Then, when she discovered that one of the ingredients was “Horny Goat Weed”, she said that I definitely could not have any.

I just read an article the other day that said that some drug stores and grocery stores are starting to carry an array of items for sexual enhancement. While a certain amount of lubricants and creams have been available in these stores for years, they are now starting to sell items such as massage oils and sensitizing creams.

And some of these stores are now carrying a line of marital aid devices. And while this merchandise is being sold in the pharmaceutical section, it is still out on display. Can you imagine some fourth grade girl saying “Mommy, what are those things hanging next to the curling irons?”

Many years ago, when I first became a Christian, I was taught to pray using the ACTS method. Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving and Supplication. This was a general guideline for prayer.

However, for the past few years, I have had a hard time following this approach. Why? Because I can never seem to get past the Adoration. I can literally spend hours praising God. Or more specifically, loving God.

Some days I am so overwhelmed with the love of God that I can barely speak. In many respects, all that really matters is God not me. I am just His servant, a tool for His use.