Poor Ozzie Osborn. Something ate his favorite chihuahua. Thinking that it might be a coyote, he threw a poisoned dead chicken over the fence. But, nothing touched the chicken.

Of course, given the small size of the dog, any predator could have eaten it. It may have even fallen victim to a hawk attack. He will probably never know. He best bet is to keep a closer watch on his dogs.

Ozzie will probably be in therapy for years because of this event.

The owner of the Reading Ohio barbecue restaurant has won their battle with city hall. It seems that the restaurant had a mannequin outside dressed in a halter top and hot pants. The city found it to be offensive and ordered the owner to put more clothes on the doll. The owner protested saying that if it was not illegal for a woman to dress that way in public, then it should be OK for the mannequin. Eventually, the city agreed in a narrow vote to allow the attire.

I am surprised that they didn’t ban Daisy May from the Ill Abner comics.

A county maintenance garage in Michigan reported that some one stole 200 tons of salt from them this weekend. Apparently, they broke into the facility and stole what amounts to 12 dump truck loads of road salt.

So, my first question is how do you steal 200 tons of road salt without someone noticing it? And, where do you hide 200 tons of road salt? But, probably more to the point, what do you do with 200 tons of road salt?

Maybe there is a black market for road salt. I can hear it now, “Hey Vinnie, I got the stuff. Bring the money to the drop off point and the salt is yours.”

Personally, I suspect that it was a neighboring county that was low of funds for next year so they stole it. What ever the out come, I am sure that it will be interesting.

While we were in Manassa Virginia, we stayed at a local motel. And, like most motels, they offered a free continental breakfast every morning.

The breakfast started at 5:30 and ended at 9:00 and offered the standard fare of danish, donuts and bagels. Now, while I am not one to eat those things, I do like to grab a cup of coffee and the news paper and then take them back to my room.

Well, the first morning, I went down to the lobby around 7:30 to get a cup of coffee. When I got there, the only people there were four extremely large people with their plates loaded with danish.

These people were huge! The chairs fit them the way that bicycle seats fit normal people. I don’t imagine that you could get two of them in a single bed so it is a good thing that the rooms all had two queen size beds.

Watching them eat was not a pleasant sight so I got my coffee and left. When I came back for a second cup a half hour later, they were still the only ones there and they were still eating. The buffet had pretty much been emptied and their plates were now full of bagels.

This pattern continued for the duration of our stay. And, judging by the number of cars in the parking lot, I would say that there were only a half dozen of us staying there, so the majority of that breakfast was consumed by four very large adults.

I wonder what those bariatric misfits did for lunch?

One state that I recently traveled through liked to announce that they are mowing the grass on the interstate. They have countless sign that can be activated on a moments notice. I guess it is because the people in their state are easily confused.

“Hey Maude, there is one of them tractor machines on the shoulder ahead. Are they plantin corn?” “No honey, the sign back there said that they are mowin the grass.”

Well, at least they don’t barricade the interstate like they used to in the past.

While visiting our daughter in Cincinnati, we went out for supper at the Montgomery Inn Boat House. This is a very popular restaurant which has served many famous people and it sits right on the river.

And, since it was a Saturday night, we called ahead for reservations. But, unfortunately, they do not take reservations. When we asked about how long the wait would be, we found out that it would be about an hour and a half. But, they said that we could do “Call Ahead”.

With “Call Ahead” we were told to call about an hour before we would arrive and they would put our name on the waiting list. That way, when we arrived, our name would already be on the list and we would only have to wait a few minutes for a table. This sounded reasonable to us so we decided to go with it.

An hour before we left, we called and had our name put on the list. But, when we arrived, our name was not on the list at all. No problem. They acknowledged their error and added our name to the list.

When we asked how long it would be, they said it would be about an hour and a half. When we protested, they recanted and said that it would only be fifteen minutes. An hour and a half and several inquiries later, we were finally seated.

Apparently we were not the only victims of a screw up. As we waited, we heard others complain that they too had “Called Ahead” and still had to wait just as long as everyone else. Makes you wonder if the “Call Ahead” and the “15 minutes” promise is nothing more than a ruse to get you to wait.

The Montgomery Inn is noted for their ribs. We tried them. They were good but not Wowser. They were more like an expensive version of Applebys ribs. Certainly not worth an hour and a half wait.

Next time, it will be Joes Crab Shack. They are on the other side of the river. Same view, lower prices.

While traveling through other states, I find the road signs on the interstate to be interesting. One sign suggested that you should move your car to the shoulder if you are involved in a minor traffic accident.

To me, this seemed like a common sense act which did not need to be posted on a sign. However, I suppose there are some people who would wait in their lane until the police came.

Probably mouth breathers.

While traveling through a particularly backwoods area, my wife was surprised to see a highway worker trimming grass around road signs with a gas powered weed whacker. This area was so rural that I guess she expected to see them using a goat on a leash instead.

We were cruising down the interstate on a recent multi-state trip when we noticed a sign, “Rest area 2 miles”. The next sign following said “Next rest area 79 miles”.

So I asked Kathy if she needed to use this rest area or if she wanted to wait. She said that she would wait.

79 miles later we saw the next rest area sign. Across it was a magnetic sign which said “Rest area closed”.

We really needed that information 79 miles ago!

OK. A year or so ago I wrote about oven ready lasagna noodles. Ever since that time, I have had over 700 hits per month on “oven ready lasagna noodles”. So, I get the feeling that this a hot topic.

So, here is the deal. If you buy oven ready lasagna noodles, you don’t have to cook them, they are already cooked, just dehydrated. You can just add them to the sauce and go from there. BUT you do have to have enough moisture in the sauce to rehydrate the noodles other wise, they will turn out crunchy or tough.

Since my lasagna pan is about an inch shorter than the noodles, I like to cook my noodles so that they are flexible when I put them in the pan. Now, since I am going to cook them anyway, I may as well get the uncooked kind since the cooking time is only 2 minutes longer than the oven ready noodles.

In short, if you use the oven ready noodles, you need to have a moist sauce. But if your sauce is too moist, the lasagna will be sloppy and if it is not moist enough, it will be tough. Rather than deal with this issue, I like to make sure that my noodles are cooked and that my sauce is firm.

FWIW