When I was at Calvin, every year in the spring the Fine Art Guild (FAG) would put on a fine arts festival. Since this was an outdoors event, they would put up a large tent on the lawn to be used in the event of rain.

Now, the grounds keeper didn’t mind that they put up the tent. But, he was concerned that they might drive a tent stake into the underground sprinkler water main. So, every year, the grounds keeper would ask to be notified of this event so that he could help them avoid the under ground sprinkler water main. And every year, they would fail to notify the grounds keeper of this event.

Now, when the grounds keeper would see the tent on the grass, he would stop and inspect just to make sure that they didn’t hit the water line. Plus, he would shut off the sprinkler for that section of the lawn.

Well, one year, the grounds keeper was away on vacation when the Fine Arts Festival took place. So, not only did stakes get driven into the ground with out being inspected, no one shut off the sprinklers for that section of the lawn.

Now, normally that fact that the sprinklers were still on wouldn’t matter that much since they watered a 5am. But, in keeping with tradition, the FAG members had a big sleep over in the tent. And, there just happened to be a sprinkler head in the tent with them.

Now, the sprinklers at Calvin were not the puny variety that most homes have. They were industrial and capable of handling a 50 foot radius. So, when 5am came around, it was time to water the lawn and anything on it.

Now, there were no lights in the tent so the occupants could not see what was happening. And all that they could hear was the chit chit chit of the sprinkler and the roar of the water as it hit the inside of the tent.

There were screams of horror as the 50 degree water hit first one then another. Panic prevailed as the students tried to avoid the water and exit the tent. Not only did they have to get out of the tent, they had to wait, cold and wet, for the water to stop so they could go back inside and get their stuff.

The sun came up to dozens of sleeping bags draped over the outside of the tent, dripping in the morning light. The FAG members were all gone, presumable back to their rooms for a hot shower and some dry clothes.

For the next few years, the grounds keeper was notified well in advance of the Fine Arts Festival. Imagine that.

I saw a sign on a church the other day. It stated that they were a full gospel church.

Now, I know what they meant but it got me to thinking about it. Is that a statement of beliefs or a warning or both?

Whenever I see signs like that I always think of milk. While I prefer whole gospel churches, I have been to churches that could easily qualify as a lite gospel church or even a skimmed gospel church but I have never seen a sign advertising that fact. Those kind of churches never really fill you up and you never feel bloated afterwards.

Some friends of ours are getting ready to walk away from their mortgage. About 5 years ago, he lost his high paying sales job and at age 55, had been unable to find comparable employment.

They had been fighting with their mortgage company for several years now and couldn’t take it any more. At one time, they had worked out a payment plan with the mortgage company but the company changed its mind and demanded payments that they couldn’t afford. So, they just gave up.

They are going to sell off the possessions that they don’t need and pack up what they do need. Then, they are going to walk away from the house and let the mortgage company have it.

I doubt that the mortgage company will be able to get their money out of the place. The housing market is really down in Michigan. I suspect that this is one of those situations where the accountants prevailed over common sense. Sad.

Researchers have discovered a new drug in South America. People who are given the drug seem normal in all aspects except that they do what ever they are told to do.

Now, the sinister side of this drug is that people could be told to withdraw all of their money from the bank or even to rob the bank and they would do it. They literally have no power to resist.

But on the positive side of things, it would make for one dandy truth serum. It might even make it easier to hunt down terrorists.

I am sure that the ACLU will fight against such a drug claiming that it interferes with a persons right to lie.

Charmin has come out with a new toilet paper.  This new product protects against dingle berries.

Personally, I never worry about dingle berries but I suppose there are those who do.

Kwame Kilpatric, Detroits most famous Irishmen, is in the news again.  He violated the terms of his bond release by going to Canada for a visit.  Because of this action, he was thrown in jail for a night and forced to wear an electronic tether.  In all fairness to Kwame, I doubt that he knew that Canada was a country.

He has now been charged with 10 felonies.  In Michigan, the governor has the right to remove any elected official from office if they are convicted of a felony.

The ten felony charges have been filed by the Republican Attorney General.  Kwame and the governor are Democrats.  If Kwame is convicted, the governor will be pressured to remove him from office.

If Kwame continues as he has been, he will end up being the mayor of Washington DC.

Recently, I had to ride the elevator up to another floor. When the car arrived and the doors opened, I noted that there was only one other person on the elevator. It was a woman and she was on the right side of the car. When I entered the elevator, I moved to the left side of the car.

As soon as the doors closed, the woman moved over and stood next to me. Since I didn’t know this woman, I thought that maybe she was going to say something to me but she didn’t. She just stood there and smiled at me.

Basically, I considered her behavior to be very strange. I was glad to get off of the elevator. On the way back I decided to use the stairs.

Recently, a pair of Queen Victoria’s panties were sold at auction for $9,000. With a 60 inch waist I guess the buyers got their moneys worth. Personally, I’d rather have a bra worn by Marilyn Monroe than the panties of some old fat queen. But hey, to each their own.

I wonder if they had skid marks?

At a Burger King in London, they now have a $400 hamburger on the menu. Of course, it is not just any run of the mill hamburger, this hamburg is made from expensive beef and has a lot of expensive stuff on it.

While it may be a novelty, I doubt that they will sell many. But hey, what do I know? I am the guy who likes to buy hamburgers for a buck.

I see that Menards has started carrying breakfast cereal. Some how, a lumber/hardware store is not the place I would go to buy cereal. I can understand candy and snack foods as they appeal to impulse buyers and I can understand cleaning supplies but not breakfast food.

It is kind of like, “yeah, I need a 4×8 sheet of 1/2 plywood, a pound of #6 nails and a box of Wheaties.”

What is next, produce?